Gender Jokes

dbzeag said:
Women don't have to chime in. Their joke is can withhold sex from their men if they don't like something. They win.
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Two can play that game. There are also probably hotter ones out there relatively disease free willing to give it up.
 
this is ancient and lame but nothing is coming to mind

what do you call an open can of tuna fish in a room full of lesbians?
























potpourri
 
two men were sitting in a bar on christmas. the first guy looks at the second guy and says, "so what did you get your wife for christmas?"
he says, "i got her a diamond necklace and a mercedes."
the first asks, "why did you get her both? isn't one enough?"
the second replies, "well, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can take it back and find something she likes."
then the second asks the first what he got his wife.
the first guy says, "i got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
the second looks at him, stumped, and says, "why those two things?"
the first says, "well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
 
BeeRad said:
This one is specifically for when Knyte leaves Kiwi (for me of course)...




The Top 10 reasons why a handgun is better than a woman



#10 - You can trade an old .44 for two new .22s.


#9 - You can keep one handgun at home and have another for
when you're on the road.


#8 - If you admire a friend's handgun, and tell him so, he
will probably let you try it out a few times.


#7 - Your primary handgun doesn't mind if you have a
backup.


#6 - Your handgun will stay with you even if you're out of
ammo.


#5 - A handgun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.


#4 - Handguns function normally every day of the month.


#3 - A handgun doesn't ask "Do these new grips make me look
fat?"


#2 - A handgun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you
use it.


AND THE NUMBER ONE WAY THAT A HANDGUN IS BETTER THAN A
WOMAN . . . You can buy a silencer for a handgun.
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lol
 
why are wedding dresses white?

the dishwasher should always match the stove and fridge




why are women such bad drivers?


because men tell them that this |---| is six inches
 
oldie, but goody.

Q:What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
A:Nothing. You already told her twice.


Q:Why are there clocks on stoves?
A:Women have to tell time somehow.


Q:How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A:None. The bitch can cook in the dark.



Q:Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
A:She was a woman.



all of those where told to me by my sister which makes them all the funnier to me.
 
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