two men were sitting in a bar on christmas. the first guy looks at the second guy and says, "so what did you get your wife for christmas?"
he says, "i got her a diamond necklace and a mercedes."
the first asks, "why did you get her both? isn't one enough?"
the second replies, "well, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can take it back and find something she likes."
then the second asks the first what he got his wife.
the first guy says, "i got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."
the second looks at him, stumped, and says, "why those two things?"
the first says, "well, if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."