At three o'clock and 5 minutes tomorrow, go to the crack in the sidewalk across the street from your office building.
Wave a pair of Hello Kitty boxer shorts in a halo above your head six times, do NOT look around, return to your building as if nothing happened, walk slowly and deliberately.
Pretend to use the restroom downstairs, take your time and whistle the theme song to Knight Rider.
Go to the front desk, there will be a package for you, heavy brown wrapping paper shaped like an AK-47, inside will be lunch leftovers from Fuddruckers, and a key.
The key will open an empty box behind the trash can in the park, place a penny from every decade in the 20th century inside the box.
Three days from tomorrow, Felipe will kidnap you in a Darth Vader van, wear a yellow shirt, and the password is "Monarch butterfly".
You will be brought to the warehouse where such things are kept, for your sake, don't remember the turns and stops.