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I hate it when I accidentally turn on the heated seat when I'm putting the window down on a hot day, and then I'm all like
when my arse is hot 10 minutes later.
gogogo
. . first name's "Daisy" boys
When I pull into Starbucks, the line is so long I wind up 5 minutes late for work.
Sometimes a good thunderstorm will trip the breaker on our hot tub. #ThatFuckingSucks
fly gave me a handjob for marklar
One pillow feels too low, two pillows feels too high.
fly gave me a handjob for marklar
Running out of gas for the grill halfway through cooking a steak
Had to just send off my Shun knives to get sharpened. HOW CAN I CUT THIS CHATEAUBRIAND???
fly gave me a handjob for marklar
The property taxes are going up at my cottage.
you guys are bastards!! lol
There wasn't a waiter for our UFC floor seats. UGH
There was a mosquito in the house the other day. HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have to actually use a tin opener to get to my beans because the damn lazy company didn't put a ringpull on the can.
Instead of turning on the heating in September work expects me to put on 'extra layers'.
The delivery man said he would deliver my brand new touchscreen phone between 2 and 3PM, it's 3.05PM and he hasn't arrived. FUCK THIS SHIT!!
I'm out of coffee and the coffee machine is two floors away
Out at dinner the other night I found a speck of dirt on my salad fork. Ruined my entire evening.
A website's country input didn't have "United States" at the top so I had to scroll all the way down to the U's like a barbarian.
Rollout's problem:
I don't have anyone to trade with so my Kadabra will never evolve into an Alakazam.
fly gave me a handjob for marklar
they were out of Bombay Sapphire at the liquor store yesterday, so I had to buy Tanqueray. Then I got home and realized we were out of Vermouth.