odamn
One horizontal and one vertical?
Or two that are parallel?
If they're parallel he could bill himself as the man with three butt cheeks and do an amusing skit on the topic with the help of John Cleese.
An MS Paint version of my beer run
- Thread starter thrawn
- Start date
If they're parallel he could bill himself as the man with three butt cheeks and do an amusing skit on the topic with the help of John Cleese.
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
That reminds me of when we had run out of Spanges and had to de-ice the driveway so we could go to the store for another.
Mean Mr. Mustard
Always shouts out something obscene
Syrup Beaver
pants log
Dharma1521
Soooo do I look as young as I look?
Is that the thing you left on my floor? You really need to pick that shit back up, to much clutter bugs me
Dharma1521
Soooo do I look as young as I look?
Dharma1521
Soooo do I look as young as I look?
Fatty on fatty? Damn I feel sorry for that bedframe
OMG. I hoped you enjoyed your life . . .
Syrup Beaver
pants log
I wish....
We had just finished eating a fine, fine roast chicken prepared by Mrs. Chikken, and I was packing the car to head back to Boston while Mrs. Chikken took the puppy for a last run around the yard and a piddle.
Now the in-laws had ended up with a new black lab puppy earlier in the week that adopted them (Funny story for another time) in addition to the Rottweiler they had before. The previous day we had no problems letting our little Corgi run around off-leash with the new lab, since it kept her in line and she would come back to us when called.
I'm putting my bag in the car and I hear screaming, blood curdling screaming. I fumble for a bag of treats, thinking the dog was headed for the woods or something, and run towards the noise.
I see Mrs. Chikken ankle-deep in the mostly iced-over pond screaming, and a pathetic, sad, Corgi face and two paws clinging to the edge of the ice and treading water out by where one of the streams comes in.
Mrs. Chikken goes in fully clothed(Including winter coat since it's high 20's and sleeting), and starts breaking ice with her fists while swimming towards the gradually sinking Corgi.
Having had to swim fully clothed before, I whip off down to a t-shirt, my jeans, and socks, empty my pockets and take a flying leap from the muck at the edge of the pond into our 2ft deep pond. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly found myself under water! It appears all the rain and the beaver dams downstream added several feet in depth to that area.
Bobbing to the surface I think I screamed "HOLYFUCKDEEPANDCOLDHOLYFUCK", having lost both of my socks on the bottom of the pond I tear ass out of the water, grab the rowboat and oars, toss the mess in the water, and start poling out towards Mrs. Chikken (Now about 3/4 of the way to the Corgi). It sucked trying to get through the ice, even after it was broken up thanks to the missus, but I get out there as she breaks the last piece of ice in front of the puppy which has juuuuust lost her grip, and thankfully the puppy starts swimming the 4' towards me (sinking all the way), I grab her out of the water, hand Mrs. Chikken an oar to pull her to the boat, and she pushes while I pole along the bottom to get out.
Got both of them out of the water, yanked the boat on shore, grabbed the puppy and run to the house through the tall grass and brambles barefoot (KNYTE will understand this: I NEVER go barefoot, unless it's on a Caribbean beach) burst in the house and scream to Mrs. Chikken's mother "She needs help!", throw boots on and run back out to the pond to grab my stuff (Didn't want to lose my phone too, since hers was in her jacket pocket).
Run back inside and Mrs. Chikken is BRIGHT red all over and very near hypothermic, her parents are getting her settled in a chair with a ton of blankets and stuff and ask me to get her some tea, I start to nuke some and suddenly realize I can't feel my feet! Finish getting tea, then go take a lukewarm shower so I don't lose any more parts.
After our shivers have subsided enough to pay attention to other things, we see the dog is acting like nothing happened
stupid dog.
We had just finished eating a fine, fine roast chicken prepared by Mrs. Chikken, and I was packing the car to head back to Boston while Mrs. Chikken took the puppy for a last run around the yard and a piddle.
Now the in-laws had ended up with a new black lab puppy earlier in the week that adopted them (Funny story for another time) in addition to the Rottweiler they had before. The previous day we had no problems letting our little Corgi run around off-leash with the new lab, since it kept her in line and she would come back to us when called.
I'm putting my bag in the car and I hear screaming, blood curdling screaming. I fumble for a bag of treats, thinking the dog was headed for the woods or something, and run towards the noise.
I see Mrs. Chikken ankle-deep in the mostly iced-over pond screaming, and a pathetic, sad, Corgi face and two paws clinging to the edge of the ice and treading water out by where one of the streams comes in.
Mrs. Chikken goes in fully clothed(Including winter coat since it's high 20's and sleeting), and starts breaking ice with her fists while swimming towards the gradually sinking Corgi.
Having had to swim fully clothed before, I whip off down to a t-shirt, my jeans, and socks, empty my pockets and take a flying leap from the muck at the edge of the pond into our 2ft deep pond. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly found myself under water! It appears all the rain and the beaver dams downstream added several feet in depth to that area.
Bobbing to the surface I think I screamed "HOLYFUCKDEEPANDCOLDHOLYFUCK", having lost both of my socks on the bottom of the pond I tear ass out of the water, grab the rowboat and oars, toss the mess in the water, and start poling out towards Mrs. Chikken (Now about 3/4 of the way to the Corgi). It sucked trying to get through the ice, even after it was broken up thanks to the missus, but I get out there as she breaks the last piece of ice in front of the puppy which has juuuuust lost her grip, and thankfully the puppy starts swimming the 4' towards me (sinking all the way), I grab her out of the water, hand Mrs. Chikken an oar to pull her to the boat, and she pushes while I pole along the bottom to get out.
Got both of them out of the water, yanked the boat on shore, grabbed the puppy and run to the house through the tall grass and brambles barefoot (KNYTE will understand this: I NEVER go barefoot, unless it's on a Caribbean beach) burst in the house and scream to Mrs. Chikken's mother "She needs help!", throw boots on and run back out to the pond to grab my stuff (Didn't want to lose my phone too, since hers was in her jacket pocket).
Run back inside and Mrs. Chikken is BRIGHT red all over and very near hypothermic, her parents are getting her settled in a chair with a ton of blankets and stuff and ask me to get her some tea, I start to nuke some and suddenly realize I can't feel my feet! Finish getting tea, then go take a lukewarm shower so I don't lose any more parts.
After our shivers have subsided enough to pay attention to other things, we see the dog is acting like nothing happened
stupid dog.
Dharma1521
Soooo do I look as young as I look?
I wish....
We had just finished eating a fine, fine roast chicken prepared by Mrs. Chikken, and I was packing the car to head back to Boston while Mrs. Chikken took the puppy for a last run around the yard and a piddle.
Now the in-laws had ended up with a new black lab puppy earlier in the week that adopted them (Funny story for another time) in addition to the Rottweiler they had before. The previous day we had no problems letting our little Corgi run around off-leash with the new lab, since it kept her in line and she would come back to us when called.
I'm putting my bag in the car and I hear screaming, blood curdling screaming. I fumble for a bag of treats, thinking the dog was headed for the woods or something, and run towards the noise.
I see Mrs. Chikken ankle-deep in the mostly iced-over pond screaming, and a pathetic, sad, Corgi face and two paws clinging to the edge of the ice and treading water out by where one of the streams comes in.
Mrs. Chikken goes in fully clothed(Including winter coat since it's high 20's and sleeting), and starts breaking ice with her fists while swimming towards the gradually sinking Corgi.
Having had to swim fully clothed before, I whip off down to a t-shirt, my jeans, and socks, empty my pockets and take a flying leap from the muck at the edge of the pond into our 2ft deep pond. Imagine my surprise when I suddenly found myself under water! It appears all the rain and the beaver dams downstream added several feet in depth to that area.
Bobbing to the surface I think I screamed "HOLYFUCKDEEPANDCOLDHOLYFUCK", having lost both of my socks on the bottom of the pond I tear ass out of the water, grab the rowboat and oars, toss the mess in the water, and start poling out towards Mrs. Chikken (Now about 3/4 of the way to the Corgi). It sucked trying to get through the ice, even after it was broken up thanks to the missus, but I get out there as she breaks the last piece of ice in front of the puppy which has juuuuust lost her grip, and thankfully the puppy starts swimming the 4' towards me (sinking all the way), I grab her out of the water, hand Mrs. Chikken an oar to pull her to the boat, and she pushes while I pole along the bottom to get out.
Got both of them out of the water, yanked the boat on shore, grabbed the puppy and run to the house through the tall grass and brambles barefoot (KNYTE will understand this: I NEVER go barefoot, unless it's on a Caribbean beach) burst in the house and scream to Mrs. Chikken's mother "She needs help!", throw boots on and run back out to the pond to grab my stuff (Didn't want to lose my phone too, since hers was in her jacket pocket).
Run back inside and Mrs. Chikken is BRIGHT red all over and very near hypothermic, her parents are getting her settled in a chair with a ton of blankets and stuff and ask me to get her some tea, I start to nuke some and suddenly realize I can't feel my feet! Finish getting tea, then go take a lukewarm shower so I don't lose any more parts.
After our shivers have subsided enough to pay attention to other things, we see the dog is acting like nothing happened
OMG Mrs. Chikken is the bomb diggity!
Fatty on fatty? Damn I feel sorry for that bedframe
Wow, I cant believe you would say that, man o man...
I am not fat
Syrup Beaver
pants log
Yep 
She was smarter by keeping her jacket on than I was in that case
I knew after jumping in there was no way I was going to be able to carry the dog out after getting out there, and there was that perfectly good boat laying there...
She was smarter by keeping her jacket on than I was in that case
I knew after jumping in there was no way I was going to be able to carry the dog out after getting out there, and there was that perfectly good boat laying there...