Weird News

b_sinning

Erect Member
Nov 22, 2004
22,790
47
41
47
Savannah, GA
Marklar
₥10
Hear any good weird news today?


Here's one

Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/15914427.htm

Police arrested a naked man caught masturbating on a bicycle path Thursday after officers and firefighters stood guard while he removed a sharp tool from his rectum.

"The Fire Department had determined that he would need to go to the hospital to have it removed," El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan said. "But when he heard what they were talking about he said, 'Hey, don't worry about it. I can do it.'"

Mindful that a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape could be used as a weapon, officers kept their weapons trained on 33-year-old John Sheehan throughout the delicate operation.

Sheehan went quietly afterward, without explanation.

Passers-by called police about 7:50 a.m. to report a naked man lying on a tree stump beside the Ohlone Greenway path, exposing himself and masturbating. Police saw Sheehan and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure.

Officers led him to the nearest street, the 2000 block of Kearney Avenue. Before putting Sheehan in the back of his car, Sgt. Paul Keith asked the suspect if he had anything on him that police should know about.

Sheehan said he had hidden a "screwdriver" in his anal cavity, Horgan said.

Unsure about what to do, police called for a fire engine. Firefighters quickly offered the opinion that emergency room staff were better equipped to deal with the situation. Sheehan interceded before an ambulance was called.

Sheehan paroled from state prison last week and listed an address in Pittsburg, Horgan said. Police booked him into County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.
 
Hear any good weird news today?


Here's one

Naked man arrested after pulling awl from rectum

http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/15914427.htm

Police arrested a naked man caught masturbating on a bicycle path Thursday after officers and firefighters stood guard while he removed a sharp tool from his rectum.

"The Fire Department had determined that he would need to go to the hospital to have it removed," El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan said. "But when he heard what they were talking about he said, 'Hey, don't worry about it. I can do it.'"

Mindful that a 6-inch metal awl wrapped in black electrical tape could be used as a weapon, officers kept their weapons trained on 33-year-old John Sheehan throughout the delicate operation.

Sheehan went quietly afterward, without explanation.

Passers-by called police about 7:50 a.m. to report a naked man lying on a tree stump beside the Ohlone Greenway path, exposing himself and masturbating. Police saw Sheehan and arrested him on suspicion of indecent exposure.

Officers led him to the nearest street, the 2000 block of Kearney Avenue. Before putting Sheehan in the back of his car, Sgt. Paul Keith asked the suspect if he had anything on him that police should know about.

Sheehan said he had hidden a "screwdriver" in his anal cavity, Horgan said.

Unsure about what to do, police called for a fire engine. Firefighters quickly offered the opinion that emergency room staff were better equipped to deal with the situation. Sheehan interceded before an ambulance was called.

Sheehan paroled from state prison last week and listed an address in Pittsburg, Horgan said. Police booked him into County Jail in Martinez on suspicion of parole violations, indecent exposure and one felony count of possessing a concealed weapon.

Poor Guy.

That was so embarrassing when that happened to me.
 
"Unsure about what to do, police called for a fire engine. Firefighters quickly offered the opinion that emergency room staff were better equipped to deal with the situation."

:wtf:

What were the cops thinking? "Hey, them fahrfahter boys know a thing or two about stuff shoved up the ass, let's call them!"

I image the conversation went like this:

Cops to Firefighter: Hey this guy shoved a screwdriver up his ass. We need back up.
Firefighter to Cops: Shens?
Cops to Firefighter: No Shens!
 
Police arrest man dressed as Bin Laden
By Portland Press Herald Staff Report October 31, 2006 03:46 PM


SOUTH PORTLAND — Thomas J. Connolly, of Scarborough, a prominent defense attorney and 1998 Democratic candidate for governor was charged with criminal threatening this morning after an incident beside Interstate 295.

South Portland police were notified around 9 a.m. that a man wearing a rubber Osama bin Laden mask was standing on top of a berm along the highway carrying a sign that said “I Love Tabor,” and waving what appeared to be an assault rifle.

Four South Portland officers and two state troopers converged on the man. They drew their guns when he did not respond to their demand that he drop his weapon.

Police said instead he walked toward them dropping plastic hand grenades. His costume included fake dynamite and bandoliers, police said.

He eventually did drop the rifle, which turned out to be a toy and was arrested, at which time the man was identified as Connolly. He was taken to the Cumberland County Jail.

"The whole thing is just incredibly bizarre," said South Portland Police Chief Ed Googins. "It just crossed the line."

Connolly met with reporters briefly after posting bail to secure his release. Criminal threatening is a misdemeanor.

"There was a First Amendment this morning when I woke up. I don't know how it evaporated with the dawn," he said.

Connolly, a Portland attorney, has been known for wearing costumes to make political statements, typically donning a George W. Bush mask and dancing herky-jerky style for passing motorists. His wife has described him as "marvelously eccentric."

But he took it too far with the terrorist outfit, Googins said.

Connolly was carrying a sign that said "I love TABOR," a reference to the Taxpayer Bill of Rights on the ballot a week from today. But at least one of the people who saw it thought it said "I love the Taliban," Googins said.

Officers who arrived on the location of a future ramp at the Westbrook Street exit didn't know what they were dealing with. "There's no way of telling from a distance whether the gun is real or a fake," Googins said.

Police want to make sure charges are pressed. "For someone to think this is an innocent prank, this is not the case," he said.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.
 
His wife has described him as "marvelously eccentric."

I can't wait to run a stunt like this and see if Amy responds in kind.

Police want to make sure charges are pressed. "For someone to think this is an innocent prank, this is not the case," he said.

Charges? Wtf?
 
This is how you know we have too much government in this country. Fuck them.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T TOUCH ON ANY KNEEJERK CURRENT EVENTS, IN WHICH CASE WE WILL DRAW OUR WEAPONS ON YOU.

I hope they all die in the glorious revolution.
 
This is how you know we have too much government in this country. Fuck them.

FREEDOM OF SPEECH AS LONG AS IT DOESN'T TOUCH ON ANY KNEEJERK CURRENT EVENTS, IN WHICH CASE WE WILL DRAW OUR WEAPONS ON YOU.

I hope they all die in the glorious revolution.
Carrying a toy rifle and dressing up then standing next to the thru-way is not going to win friends and influence people.

Even where it's legal to carry real weapons around openly the cops will still bust you for threatening.
 
Carrying a toy rifle and dressing up then standing next to the thru-way is not going to win friends and influence people.

Even where it's legal to carry real weapons around openly the cops will still bust you for threatening.


Freedom isn't about impressing people.

Toy gun. Mask. Sign.

:panic:



If we pretend that I'm stabbing you with a knife can I go to jail for fake murder? Too many laws, too much regulation, not enough vertebrae.