Two college room mates live a block or so from their favorite bar. On a school night they decide to go to the bar for a beer or two. After they have been there awhile and it is starting to get late one of the room mates decides to go home as he has an early class in the morning and the other stays on. The next evening the room mate who stayed home asks the other one what went on after he left. The party animal roomie tells him, "I got sick of the bar after awhile so I started home, but on the way I saw a big party and since I was slightly hammered I decided to crash it! Man it was great! I don't remember a whole lot except.... I remember they had a golden toilet... It was so cool!" The more sober roomie says, "Oh sure they did. Just how loaded were you?" The other roomie says, "Well I can prove it to you. There aren't that many houses between here and the bar. I bet I can find it again." So these two chuckle heads walk down the street asking people in their homes if they have a golden toilet. Finaly they come to a big old house and a tired loking middle aged woman answers the bell. They ask her about the Golden Toilet and she looks at them puzzled for a moment, and then she hollers up the stairs, "Harry, the kid who crapped in your tuba is here!" ---------------------------------------- A man walks into a bar with a smallish dog and sits at the rail. The bartender hurries over and tells him that the dog will have to go! The man replies that this is no ordinary dog! No, this is a talking dog. The bartender is about to throw both of them out when the dog says, "I just want a damn beer! Who do I have to kill to get a fricken beer around here?" The bartender is momentarily flustered but then he says, "Man, you are great ventriloquist but as I said I don't serve dogs!" The man says, "Tell you what buddy, put yer money where yer mouth is. I'll go to the can and we'll both put up 10 bucks. If the dog don't talk to ya you keep the money and we'll leave." Both men slap 10 bucks on the bar and our hero waddles off to the bathroom. The bartender stares at the dog for a minute and then the dog says, "Well am I gonna get my beer numbnuts?" The shocked bartender turns around to get the beer but when he turns back the dog is gone! A few minutes later the guy comes out of the bathroom and see his dog is missing! "Where is my dog!?!?!?!" The bartender shrugs and the man rushes out to find his valuable dog. He is searching frantically and finally he spots the dog way up at the end up dead end alley. When he gets closer he sees that the dog is grinding away behind a very bored looking but huge cat! The man says " Rex! What the hell are you doing? You NEVER did this before!" And the dog says, "well I never had 20 bucks before."