oh all this bloody terror


Flaccid Member
Aug 1, 2007
i was doing alright up until saturday - now i can't even watch tv with all this wretched terror about.

bombs on airplanes? i never saw that coming.

thank god you guys didn't forget about all this terror. don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight.

Thankfully we don't let people bring water bottles on planes that didn't cost $19 at the airport, so we're all safe.

well i know the airport is the only place i can feel free from terror - but after them finding a bomb in an ink cartridge I'm not even sure the airport is safe anymore...
it's got to the point where i think every forienger is actually trying to kill me
Nah, Ex-lax takes 8-12 hours to work. Saline ready-made enemas take about 30 seconds.
when i was going thru security IN TORONTO, I had a bottle of water in my bag.. the scanner girl was sitting there at the desk with the screen monitor that shows your luggage and she was fucking using her blackberry under the table. she didnt even look at the screen and my bottle of water got thru security, so i took the bottle out, walked up to a group of other security dudes and i asked WHOS IN CHARGE HERE? and this guy pointed at himself and i tossed him the bottle of water, he caught it, and i said, your idiot scanner girl is too busy playing with her blackberry and my water just got thru your sophisticated machines.
and i walked away. i went around the corner and peeked back the the Boss guy was ripping the phone outta her hand and I LOLd

seeing as i run into trouble every time i set foot in YYZ, i have vowed not to bother going back.

last time i was there with a friend we were through checkin and heading down the ramp - there were about 5 or 6 RCMP standing around chatting to each other, wearing sunglasses (even though it was night and indoors) and just generally looking like tacky, shit cops.

i asked could i get a photo with them (simply to show everyone i wasn't lying about how much of a cartoon image they were) to which one piped up "it's against the law to take photographs inside the terminal building, SIR", to which the rest of them did that shit, canadian giggle - when i asked was this because i had timestamp on and it would show just how many lazy fuckers there were working security in Pearson i thought he was going to baton me.

im surprised he didn't. i'm surprised the rest didn't. needless to say i got on my flight smug.
Remember the time they made that one woman drink her own breast milk? Airline security is f*cking AWESOME. It's like carte blanche in fetish land.