This will be an informative post on etiquette for those of you buying things in the mall. You cocksuckers.
While interacting with the retail staff:
1) Chances are the cashier or even the asst. manager cannot do fuck all if you screw something up. For example, you buy something and want to return it for cash even though there is a sign that clearly states NO CASH REFUNDS. Chances are when you see a sign like that there is a reason. Maybe the fact it is company policy, not the clerk's or the asst. manager's, not to do cash refunds for any amount, no matter how much you beg/ask/threaten. If you do these things not only will they not be able to help you but they wont want to. They just dont care if you bought the wrong gift.
2) The shipping dude (who maybe covers register sometimes) cannot help you find things. They arent supposed to help you find things. They are not trained to help you find things. They dont wear name tags or dress respectably for a reason. They dont care. Dont be surprised if they just ignore you or point to where something is.
3) When asked to leave. Leave. I will seriously call the cops.
4) You get a bad rep at one store, the staff at the other stores are going to hear about it and pretend to be barely competent when you need their help. We do talk to each other. Border's talks to American Eagle talks to Petsmart talk to EB Games talks to Nancy's (cafe).
5) There are a lot of stupid people on staff (generally the older folks, clerk over 30~ = convict) but 99% of us (esp. the college age group) are probably smarter than you. If they are acting stupid it's because they honestly cant help you or they dont want to (see #4).
6) I hate you. Some of my coworkers dont, they actually like helping people, but I hate you, personally.
7) I wont hate you if you tip me.
8) I can do math. I just cant do math when I'm trying to bag your shit and answer the phone. Dont hand me random change after I open the drawer.
9) Yes, I am staring at the ass of the girl who works at the gift cert. kiosk. If you cant find what youre looking for we probably dont have it. Dont bother me.
For my coworkers:
1) I dont care about you, what you did last night or your life story.
2) I'm not going to go scare off creepy guys because you are too nice to say anything to them. Tell them to fuck off yourself. I'm not your mother.
3) Unless you are under 21, female, and hot.
4) THEY ARE $20's. COUNT BY ONE, MULTIPLY BY 20. 25 = $500.
5) I hate you (unless #3).
6) Do not eat all over the place you fucking cow. If you do, DONT TOUCH THE REGISTER WITH YOUR GREASY FUCKING FINGERS. (Actual quote)
7) I get here on time. The least you could do is the same. I'm not your friend, if you arent here on time I am calling the general manager and telling her. I have places to be, people to see, and I'm not covering for you just because we work together.
8) When I tell you to do something it isnt a request.
9) The alphabet goes ABCDEFG. . . Bitch.
10) I still dont care.
Pictures follow thursday.
While interacting with the retail staff:
1) Chances are the cashier or even the asst. manager cannot do fuck all if you screw something up. For example, you buy something and want to return it for cash even though there is a sign that clearly states NO CASH REFUNDS. Chances are when you see a sign like that there is a reason. Maybe the fact it is company policy, not the clerk's or the asst. manager's, not to do cash refunds for any amount, no matter how much you beg/ask/threaten. If you do these things not only will they not be able to help you but they wont want to. They just dont care if you bought the wrong gift.
2) The shipping dude (who maybe covers register sometimes) cannot help you find things. They arent supposed to help you find things. They are not trained to help you find things. They dont wear name tags or dress respectably for a reason. They dont care. Dont be surprised if they just ignore you or point to where something is.
3) When asked to leave. Leave. I will seriously call the cops.
4) You get a bad rep at one store, the staff at the other stores are going to hear about it and pretend to be barely competent when you need their help. We do talk to each other. Border's talks to American Eagle talks to Petsmart talk to EB Games talks to Nancy's (cafe).
5) There are a lot of stupid people on staff (generally the older folks, clerk over 30~ = convict) but 99% of us (esp. the college age group) are probably smarter than you. If they are acting stupid it's because they honestly cant help you or they dont want to (see #4).
6) I hate you. Some of my coworkers dont, they actually like helping people, but I hate you, personally.
7) I wont hate you if you tip me.
8) I can do math. I just cant do math when I'm trying to bag your shit and answer the phone. Dont hand me random change after I open the drawer.
9) Yes, I am staring at the ass of the girl who works at the gift cert. kiosk. If you cant find what youre looking for we probably dont have it. Dont bother me.
For my coworkers:
1) I dont care about you, what you did last night or your life story.
2) I'm not going to go scare off creepy guys because you are too nice to say anything to them. Tell them to fuck off yourself. I'm not your mother.
3) Unless you are under 21, female, and hot.
4) THEY ARE $20's. COUNT BY ONE, MULTIPLY BY 20. 25 = $500.
5) I hate you (unless #3).
6) Do not eat all over the place you fucking cow. If you do, DONT TOUCH THE REGISTER WITH YOUR GREASY FUCKING FINGERS. (Actual quote)
7) I get here on time. The least you could do is the same. I'm not your friend, if you arent here on time I am calling the general manager and telling her. I have places to be, people to see, and I'm not covering for you just because we work together.
8) When I tell you to do something it isnt a request.
9) The alphabet goes ABCDEFG. . . Bitch.
10) I still dont care.
Pictures follow thursday.
