Clam Poop

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Hi...you busy? No? Good, 'cuz I need to talk to someone about shredded wheat, more specifically, the bite-sized, frosted mini kind. Now I don't know about you, but I have trouble figuring out how much milk to put in after the cereal. I always end up pouring way too much milk in, which forces me to add more bite-sized shredded wheat into the milk in order to get a good milk-to-shredded-wheat ratio. The problem is, there's a few of what I call "veteran" pieces of shredded wheat left floating in the bowl from the first go around -- you know, the kind that are all mushy and falling apart... I feel sorry for them, because even though they've been in the bowl a long time and probably have lots of wondrous stories to tell, you know that the new shredded wheat, that which I just dumped in, are most likely calling the veteran shredded wheat horrible names like "ol' softy" or "gooshy-butt" or "Mr. Falls-Apart"... you know how cruel children can be. Well, I say, just because you're all crispy and crunchy and still have all your sugar on you, doesn't give you any right to belittle a fellow shredded wheat, no matter how soggy he or she may be. Show a little reverence, dammit!! Because one day you'll be the old shredded wheat, and then what? HUH?? Yeeaaahhhh...I thought so... Anyway, my hat goes off to all the fine shredded wheat veterans that I have had the pleasure of meeting. GIVE 'EM HELL, BOYS!! ...oh and thanks for listening.
 
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