Carlo the house wrecker

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Since my headcase Aussie housemate left last Thursday (praise be the lord) we have been putting out ads for a new housemate. A lovely lady of 24 came round last night, she seemed to be very nice. She is:

A pisces, vegan and trying to be an ecowarrior.

I however only like one of these three, it appears to me and my current housemate that she is only vegan because her boyfriend is. What kind of schemes can I produce to break her when she moves in in January?

 

[APRIL]

Show her that scary movie, Earthlings.

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

I want to break the vegan in her, not let it carry on.

 

[APRIL]

I can't function this early in the morning, obviously.


Trick her to eat a hotdog. Isn't that the scariest food to vegans and they taste fucking fabulous?

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Reckon the smell of bacon would turn her? I think I might start in by implying that eggs are vegan (I have a few vegan friends who have 'vegan eggs' occasionally) and then work my way up to a pizza with shit tons of cheese on.

 

[tre]

get her hooked on those bacon flavoured jelly beans. they can be her gateway drug.

 

[Coqui]

How the hell can someone think there's such thing as vegan eggs?

 

[itburnswhenipee]

She is:

A pisces

Astrology? Really?

Riddle me this... how often is astrology a consideration in your decision making process?

 

[Coqui]

Here's a true answer.

Start out with Marshmallows

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Astrology? Really?

Riddle me this... how often is astrology a consideration in your decision making process?

Definite decision in a housemate. Everyone who has ever lived in the house I'm in currently has been either a Virgo, Pisces or Cancer even without asking beforehand. Cool coincidence so I'm going along with it these days.

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Here's a true answer.

Start out with Marshmallows

Good idea, maybe I'll slip her in some veggie things that have milk powder in etc. She seems relatively new to the whole vegan thing so I doubt she'll know to ask.

 

[Floptical]

Maybe you'll luck out and she'll be diabetic and you can switch out her insulin for liquid bacon bits.

 

[tre]

Good idea, maybe I'll slip her in some veggie things that have milk powder in etc. She seems relatively new to the whole vegan thing so I doubt she'll know to ask.

Jello - definitely NOT vegan friendly....

 

[Coqui]

Jello - definitely NOT vegan friendly....

Same concept as the marshmallows. I forgot about Jello as an option.

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Jello - definitely NOT vegan friendly....

Wonder if she knows....hmmm.

Also need to maybe feed her Coca Cola and Nestle products so she doesn't turn to the dark side.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

Slip some soaps made with lard into her kit.

Make a big bowl of goatmeal.

 

[JAXvillain]

Jello - definitely NOT vegan friendly....

jello shots!

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

jello shots!

Vodka jelly, win!

 

[tre]

jello shots!

i made some gin and tonic jello shots this summer, they were great. next time, i'm gonna try manhattans in jello form.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

Dump out her soy milk, and fill the carton with the real thing.