although relunctant. Critique my writing please

[Penis Envy]

Although i doubt i'll get any serious responses. I just wanna find out if i'm waisting my time. Mind you i enjoy writing for some reason. Its a new thing and its only this subject, but its very close to my heart and it incorporates alot of my thoughts and beliefs. So, heres Chapter 1. Chapter 2 is still a work in progress, but i'd love some opinions or suggestions and what you all think.




time to re-write. Thanks to all that read it..

 

[Sarcasmo]

I have no idea what you are writing. Is it a memoir? Is it instructional? What's the theme? You say it's a "chapter" and I'm trying to figure out what the other chapters will include.

 

[Bubbles]

It's a self help book amirite?

 

[Penis Envy]

It's a self help book amirite?

sort of i guess..

its ment to give you a new perspective on things.

 

[fly]

or to give YOU a new perspective on things?

 

[APRIL]

A billion times better than anything I could do. I write like I talk, and neither make much sense.

 

[Penis Envy]

or to give YOU a new perspective on things?

well you see i have the perspective, thats kinda why i'm writing it..

But did it conjur up images for anyone? Provoke Thought??

Did you wonder "Why the hell am i reading this"

anything??

 

[Sarcasmo]

I guess I just can't believe that you typed all that to basically say "think swell thoughts in the morning and you'll have a swell day." Other than that, meh. I'm more of a horror genre fan myself.

 

[Penis Envy]

I guess I just can't believe that you typed all that to basically say "think swell thoughts in the morning and you'll have a swell day." Other than that, meh. I'm more of a horror genre fan myself.

it goes with the them of the book and my chapter outline, but you have a point i s'pose.

Thanks for your input regardless

 

[Sarcasmo]

Do you have anything with werewolves and vampires and Kate Beckinsale running around naked?

 

[water]

Do you have anything with werewolves and vampires and Kate Beckinsale running around naked?

Underworld 2 comes out on Friday (though I doubt she'll be naked). Kiwi will be gone all week, fly out to SLC?

 

[JJ Lady]

I missed it

 

[eileenbunny]

I missed it

me too

 

[Candy]

Put back the original; I was just sitting here telling Shawn we needed some entertainment.

EDIT: I meant that I would like something interesting to read; that was not meant to sound, er, they way it came out.

 

[Pandora]

A billion times better than anything I could do. I write like I talk, and neither make much sense.

Do what now?

 

[APRIL]

Do what now?

Precisely.

 

[BigDov]

Precisely.

Exactly. Most people talk like they write or write like they talk, or at least that's what I always thought.

 

[Pandora]

Precisely.

That's okay honey, you don't have to talk. Just sit there and be adorable.

 

[APRIL]

That's okay honey, you don't have to talk. Just sit there and be adorable.

Love me?!?!!?

 

[Candy]

Where are the memoirs dammitt!!!

Did you know they killed President Palmer last night on 24 and the secret was in HIS memoirs?