Thread All new 2019 Super Duper Sperm thread!

[Mr. Argumentor]

OK...super weird thing happened this am

i drove my GF to the airport @ 3am
i paid for parking and went in with her and helped her etc...
i go back to my parking floor station to pay for my ticket ($20 for 1.5 hrs!)
so NEXT to the parking pay machine is another machine that helps you search for your car if you can't find it. and i was kinda lost cuz it was so damn late/early
so it asks me to punch in my license plate number and I did... for MY car....
wait a few seconds and a CLEAR picture of my car with my plates pops up and it tells me I'm on the 2nd floor---COOL RIGHT?
BUT WAIT..
i then remember... I DIDNT DRIVE MY CAR TO THE AIRPORT... I took the sports car cuz my BF is away on business!
so i put in his plate # and HIS car pops up in the spot i parked it on the 4th floor!

so i go back again and punch in MY plate # and it shows my little Mazda in a spot on the 2nd floor... CLEAR AS DAY

UHM WHAT?!!?!?

How the fuck do you spend 1.5hrs helping someone at the airport?

 

[Valve1138]

How the fuck do you spend 1.5hrs helping someone at the airport?

Cocktails.

 

[HipHugHer]

OK...super weird thing happened this am

i drove my GF to the airport @ 3am
i paid for parking and went in with her and helped her etc...
i go back to my parking floor station to pay for my ticket ($20 for 1.5 hrs!)
so NEXT to the parking pay machine is another machine that helps you search for your car if you can't find it. and i was kinda lost cuz it was so damn late/early
so it asks me to punch in my license plate number and I did... for MY car....
wait a few seconds and a CLEAR picture of my car with my plates pops up and it tells me I'm on the 2nd floor---COOL RIGHT?
BUT WAIT..
i then remember... I DIDNT DRIVE MY CAR TO THE AIRPORT... I took the sports car cuz my BF is away on business!
so i put in his plate # and HIS car pops up in the spot i parked it on the 4th floor!

so i go back again and punch in MY plate # and it shows my little Mazda in a spot on the 2nd floor... CLEAR AS DAY

UHM WHAT?!!?!?

 

[tre]

How the fuck do you spend 1.5hrs helping someone at the airport?

how long does it take you to offload 100 kilos of cocaine?

 

[gee]

That's a lot of condoms that have to be shit out, washed off, cut open and repackaged. Doing that without arousing suspicion in an airport bathroom takes time, eh.

gotta say though, 100kg of cocaine in 1 person? that's impressive. Good job.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

how long does it take you to offload 100 kilos of cocaine?

Well, last time I visited, from parking to @fly answering the door took about a minute and a half?

 

[Petunia]

How the fuck do you spend 1.5hrs helping someone at the airport?

i chilled with her for a bit before she went through security
we were making plans to meet up etc.. had a coffee

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

Oh shit. It's almost time to go home. I love when I have actual shit I can do instead of waiting on God and all his angels to approve something before I can work on it.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

DEY TUK UR JERBS!!

 

[gee]

It's picking green ones.

What a piece of shit.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

It's picking green ones.

What a piece of shit.

Maters give off a gas that ripens other maters, right?

 

[wetwillie]

It's picking green ones.

What a piece of shit.

I thought that too, but realistically, those yellow-greens will be red tomorrow. Besides, they're gonna gas them with ethylene to speed ripen them before delivery.

 

[gee]

I thought that too, but realistically, those yellow-greens will be red tomorrow. Besides, they're gonna gas them with ethylene to speed ripen them before delivery.

mmm flavorless tomatoes

 

[wetwillie]

mmm flavorless tomatoes

Grow a garden hippy!! Yeah, we don't buy tomatoes from the stores because of that. Even worse imo are some of the cucumbers. Good grief, like weird, flavorless melon dildos.

 

[Domon]

Grow a garden hippy!! Yeah, we don't buy tomatoes from the stores because of that. Even worse imo are some of the cucumbers. Good grief, like weird, flavorless melon dildos.

its a bit jarring at first to have full flavor cukes, cause they kinda taste like stinkbugs smell.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

its a bit jarring at first to have full flavor cukes, cause they kinda taste like stinkbugs smell.

They were originally grown by the Romans for their bitterness

 

[Darth Handsome]

bitterness is not what catholics like most about cucumbers

 

[nukes]

I eat bitter melon. Cause southeast Asia.

 

[Domon]

I eat bitter melon. Cause southeast Asia.

its... not good. I grew probably 100 of em by accident this year and we ate maybe 10

 

[nukes]

its... not good. I grew probably 100 of em by accident this year and we ate maybe 10

I've grown to like it. Wife scrambles it with egg, onion and tomato. So it's a stirfry with scrambled eggs. Some of that cuisine I like and some I run from. Bulad (dried salted fish). Stinks the house up for days. Shrimp paste. Fish sauce. No and no. And no.
I'll never try Balut unless I'm relapsed on booze and of course at that point I'll have far bigger problems (like how to steal a truckload of cocaine from the mafia).