10 Things You May Do That Will Get You The Ban Stick At Work

How badly do you suck at your job?

  • 1/10 - My

    Votes: 4 30.8%

  • 2/10 - Coochie

    Votes: 2 15.4%

  • 3/10 - Smells

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • 4/10 - Like

    Votes: 1 7.7%

  • 5/10 - Thanksgiving

    Votes: 2 15.4%

  • 6/10 - Ham

    Votes: 1 7.7%

  • 7/10 - And

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • 8/10 - Flamingglory

    Votes: 1 7.7%

  • 9/10 - Is a

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • 10/10 - Douche. :heart:

    Votes: 2 15.4%
  • Total voters
    13
APRIL

APRIL

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Sep 30, 2004
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1. Don't bother learning what's expected of you.
Sit down with your manager and make sure you understand exactly what your job entails, your deadlines and any relevant department policies. This eliminates ambiguity and ensures you'll know how your performance measures up.

2. Learn to say, "That's not part of my job description," and use it frequently.
Everyone needs to set limits, but doing only the bare minimum sends a clear message that you're just interested in a regular paycheck. Sooner or later, your boss will start looking for someone willing to take more initiative.

3. Go shopping in the supply closet.
While you're at it, run a few errands with the company car and pad your expense report. Stealing from the company is one of the best ways to guarantee your immediate dismissal.

4. Abuse company technology.
Think your boss won't notice that you spend more time instant messaging your friends than you do working? Think again. Most companies monitor all their employees' e-mails and Internet usage -- and that includes what you do with your laptop after hours. Never use your company computer for anything illegal or X-rated.

5. Complain about your job to anyone who will listen.
Whether your pay is too low, the work is drudgery or you think your boss is an idiot, be careful of who hears you complain. If it gets back to your boss, she may just put you out of your misery.

6. Forget teamwork -- look out for No. 1.
No one wants to work with an arrogant employee who steals ideas or an egotistical worker who demeans others. Helping your co-workers doesn't make you a pushover, it makes you smart. Likeable employees move up the company ranks more quickly, and your colleagues will be more likely to help you find leads when you launch your next job search.

7. Bring your personal life to work.
It's inevitable that personal business is going to pop up during work hours. But keep in mind that cubicles don't lend any privacy, so the whole office can hear -- and are distracted by -- you making that appointment with your waxer. Keep personal calls and errands to a minimum during work hours.

8. Consistently work "abbreviated" workdays.
Want to show your boss how little you care about your job or career progress? Regularly come in late and leave early. After all, if you can't be trusted to show up on time, how can your boss trust you with more responsibility?

9. Treat deadlines more like guidelines.
When you procrastinate, everyone suffers. Your missed deadlines reflect poorly on you and your boss, and they delay everyone else on the project, since they can't finish their work until you do yours.

10. Operate the gossip mill.
While you can't avoid office gossip completely, don't get caught spreading it. Think about it: Do you really want hurtful or untrue rumors to be traced back to you? And remember: A few martinis are no excuse for getting loose-lipped.
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Out of ten how many have you honestly done? Even doing it once and no one finding out, counts. :cool:
 
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All except 10, 9, 8, 7, 5, and 3, 1 are regularly practiced by me.

Wait that just leaves 4 and 2...
 
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BTW the "Bring your personal life to work" pisses me off to no end. If I'm ever running the show somewhere I more than likely will fire people on the spot for bringing their personal life to work. That includes bringing children to work. *shudder*
 
The only one I would say for me would be #4.
Theres someone in our office here that does #7 all the goddamn time tho.
She bitches out her daughter over the phone almost every day:tard:
 
Drool-Boy said:
The only one I would say for me would be #4.
Theres someone in our office here that does #7 all the goddamn time tho.
She bitches out her daughter over the phone almost every day:tard:
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Man that's terrible
 
elpmis said:
Man that's terrible
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You have no idea.
I had to sit here and listen to her make arrangements for her grandfathers funeral adn then bitch about the cost:wtf:
We sit in an office full of cubes AND SHES A LOUD TALKER.
I dont think she realizes that sound travels...
 
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