your most ridiculous injury

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polo

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Aug 1, 2007
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on my way back to the house to get lunch before class again, i decided to hop in and grab something from the deli counter.

there was fuck all to be had, but i bought some heinous pasta concoction anyway. got home, ripped the lid off and started eating it.

low and behold i begin to eat the bake and without warning the fork absolutely combusts with the force of at least 3 stars collapsing, sending shards high and wide. to end my saga, i now have a cut on the end of my nose, the most visible place possible. i can't wait to describe how this happened.

so, america, any other ridiculous injuries to tell of? who can top that piffle above?

On a final note, attempting to eat pasta with the resulting plastic prong has improved my dexterity +2
 
A dude just cut his fingers off fixing a welding machine not 2 minutes ago, does that count?

I giggled my ass off. Its as they say: Its always funny until someone gets hurt, then its just hilarious.
 
Once was running backwards on a treadmill that was close to a wall. I fell and couldn't get back up while the belt sanded my backside. Believe I still have a scar.
 
Nferno said:
A dude just cut his fingers off fixing a welding machine not 2 minutes ago, does that count?

I giggled my ass off. Its as they say: Its always funny until someone gets hurt, then its just hilarious.
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The possibilities for a disembodied finger are endless. Eating someone elses yogurt with it for example.

Fantastic.
 
April25 said:
Once was running backwards on a treadmill that was close to a wall. I fell and couldn't get back up while the belt sanded my backside. Believe I still have a scar.
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this is the tiptop of the pyramid of ridiculous at the minute folks.

fucking fantastic :lol:
 
the english lady here at work says "fuck all".. love it.. hahahaha..



i fell while taking the trash out a few months back.. it's only two steps from the house into the back yard, but i missed the middle one and landed squarely on my knee/side. could've been much worse (had i landed on my face i'd have knocked every tooth out of my mouth), but i still limped around for a week. dumb. dumb. dumb.
 
polo said:
this is the tiptop of the pyramid of ridiculous at the minute folks.

fucking fantastic :lol:
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Oh no, fly tops me.

He tried to do a flip off of my fathers boat and smacked his head against the side. This was summer of 2006...

7471763ba61ea0.jpg
 
I was playing with a toothbrush holder in my ass while wanking (as you would say) and it got too deep and stuck. The next day I went to the ER to get my "rectal obstruction" removed.

What's funny about that is this is the coming out story to my parents.
 
dbzeag said:
I was playing with a toothbrush holder in my ass while wanking (as you would say) and it got too deep and stuck. The next day I went to the ER to get my "rectal obstruction" removed.

What's funny about that is this is the coming out story to my parents.
Click to expand...

Lies.
 
dbzeag said:
I was playing with a toothbrush holder in my ass while wanking (as you would say) and it got too deep and stuck. The next day I went to the ER to get my "rectal obstruction" removed.

What's funny about that is this is the coming out story to my parents.
Click to expand...

reminds me of the "fusilli jerry" episode of seinfeld.





another story: while standing in the bachelor section of the 'throw the garter' portion of a friend's wedding years ago (hands in pockets so as not to catch garter) a dude jumped up so high and hard to grab the garter that his little short self jammed his head into my upper teeth, bloodying the piss out of his head and requiring a trip to ER for stitches.


a few years later, karma struck, and i hit my head on another dude's big rabbit teeth and bloodied MY own noggin, ER visit and stitches. i still wonder if that scar will be real visible when i go entirely bald.

lots of hoops injuries. got elbowed in a game one time so hard i was so stunned i just walked over and sat in the stands while the game was going on. concussion. pretty funny story tho actually.
 
dbzeag said:
I was playing with a toothbrush holder in my ass while wanking (as you would say) and it got too deep and stuck. The next day I went to the ER to get my "rectal obstruction" removed.

What's funny about that is this is the coming out story to my parents.
Click to expand...

wtf, a dude I used to work with has the same fucking story. Is this from some gay book?
 
Nferno said:
A dude just cut his fingers off fixing a welding machine not 2 minutes ago, does that count?

I giggled my ass off. Its as they say: Its always funny until someone gets hurt, then its just hilarious.
Click to expand...

btw, that is fucking awesome. Pics of blood or carnage?
 
polo said:
The possibilities for a disembodied finger are endless. Eating someone elses yogurt with it for example.

Fantastic.
Click to expand...

No actually it was fuckin brilliant, im still grinning :D

He is a mechanic and he was repairing something while holding the fanbelt in his one hand as it was obstructing his view.

It was just like in a movie cos his assistant leant against the wall with his arms folded (in the bart simpson manner)

and leaned against the switch turning the machine on.

I can still hear him screaming :D
 
In high school I was cradling a diamond grinder in my arms while I plugged it in, unbeknownst to me the safety switch on this particular grinder had long ago been stuck in the "on" position. Because of the way I was holding it my arm was pressing the pressure switch all the way down (full power for those unfamiliar with such things) and when the power kicked in the grinder spun and tore a nice little gash in my forearm and shot a spurt of blood about 3 feet out. I still have a scar.
 
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