you people won't believe what I did this morning

J

jaxxor

Guest
So I was driving to work this morning about 0630, when all of a sudden I felt a deep rumble in my gut. I needed to take a dump. Really, really, badly. You see, last night I was at a friend's house where I got drunk on Bud Light. Then when came home I ate about a quart of chili and beans since I had the munchies. I was now paying the price for it, and the bill was due right then.

I knew there was a Jack In The Box right off the highway next to the Woodlands Mall with a comfy bathroom and no need to ask for a key like at a convenience store, so pulled off I45 and headed in. Turns out I had less time than I thought, and no time for a backup plan. I frantically dove out of my car and quickstepped for the door. It was locked. Mother. Fucker. Turns out this JITB only has a 24 hour drive thru and isn't open for breakfast.

I was out of time. My one gambit had failed, and I had to make a decision. I looked around. Traffic was light, there was nobody watching me, so I ducked behind a dumpster, dropped trou, and took a shit. I could see the Mall through the trees across Woodlands Parkway with the sun coming up, and it wasn't a totally unpleasant experience.

I whipped out my trusty CRKT combat folding knife and cut my boxers away to wipe with, so I am now freeballing at work and giggling over the fact that some bum is mighty pissed that somebody took a shit in his living room.
 
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J

jaxxor

Guest
smileynev said:
This thread sucks

I'm SORRY already! I meant to hit alt+tab to go look at an installation I'm doing and posted by mistake.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
jaxxor said:
I'm SORRY already! I meant to hit alt+tab to go look at an installation I'm doing and posted by mistake.
Do you ever have a normal day?
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
smileynev said:
Do you ever have a normal day?
man, I'm really starting to wonder. I thought I did until I started chronicling this stuff on here :confused:
 

BigDov

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It'll all even out eventually..... pretty soon we'll think your antics are the norm, and when you have a boring, regular day, we'll all be shocked and wonder what the fuck is wrong with you.
 
S

smileynev

Guest
jaxxor said:
man, I'm really starting to wonder. I thought I did until I started chronicling this stuff on here :confused:
Yer gonna get home tonight and theres gonna be a big pile of shit on your Xbox.
 

APRIL

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Hay wow, I just got a free bandanna!

Someone left it on my porch, was a litte muddy but that's okay.
Ya right, I think you stole that off the neighbors dog after having your way with it.
 
J

jaxxor

Guest
ChikkenNoodul said:
Hay wow, I just got a free bandanna!

Someone left it on my porch, was a litte muddy but that's okay.
I just disrupted the entire office laughing at that :lol: