Baby Why does God hate me?

TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
50,241
28,102
1,073
Currently Locked up: esposa
HI GAYS!

i just wanted to let you guyz know that GOD STILL HATES ME

while on the bus yesterday, during rush hour with my beloved kiko, a man tried to rape my ear. no lie.
i was sitting in my seat and the bus was jammmmmmed with ppl and this dude was standing next to me.
his penis was rigggggggght beside my face, so i turned my face THE OTHER WAY and every time the bus slammed on the brakes his casually pushed his pelvic area towards my head.
i felt like i was back home in canada with my ex husband - gross -
so finally, after several ear rapes i decided to turn around to tell this filthy cholo to keep his kak outta my face when i realized his fly was down too. :(

i almost gagged and puked in KIKOS HAIR.
fuck my life.

bus_very_crowded.jpg
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
24,574
4,173
323
HI GAYS!

i just wanted to let you guyz know that GOD STILL HATES ME

while on the bus yesterday, during rush hour with my beloved kiko, a man tried to rape my ear. no lie.
i was sitting in my seat and the bus was jammmmmmed with ppl and this dude was standing next to me.
his penis was rigggggggght beside my face, so i turned my face THE OTHER WAY and every time the bus slammed on the brakes his casually pushed his pelvic area towards my head.
i felt like i was back home in canada with my ex husband - gross -
so finally, after several ear rapes i decided to turn around to tell this filthy cholo to keep his kak outta my face when i realized his fly was down too. :(

i almost gagged and puked in KIKOS HAIR.
fuck my life.

bus_very_crowded.jpg

Fucking lollllllllllllllllllllllfgdjsvsafvjsvdfjfhsj
 
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OzSTEEZ

¡ɟɟo ʞɔnɟ ʇunɔ 'ᴉO
Nov 11, 2008
35,272
9,368
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Oz
I've had a woman face plant into my loins on the DC metro..
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
24,574
4,173
323
omg this turtle is fucking bold. he has lured kiko to the darkside

so here i am thinking that while i was taking a shower to wash away all the turtle sins away from earlier in the morning, i discover that my beloved kiko has decided to throw stuff to thwart the beast off. i see some sandals, some toys... and the evil croc shoes

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but wait the faaaawk up.. is that my money!?!?!? KIKO OPENED UP MY PURSE AND TOSSED THE BEAST MY FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!!:mad:

2l9m89j.jpg


:mad:

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i had no choice but to come face to face with this nasty ass thing...

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and im fucking missing $100USD the turtle ate my cash.

oh its on now!

Fhhsdhgjkdsvhfdjf

I'm serouslkty laughuing so fcking hard at this right now!!!

Holy fawkkk
Snort
 

TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
50,241
28,102
1,073
Currently Locked up: esposa
JULI WTF TOOK YOU SON LONG TO READ ABOUT MY TURTLE DRAMAZ

I FUCKING HATEEEE THIS TURTLE.

WE HAD AN EARTHQUAKE LAST WEEK (5.0) AND I WAS HOPING A TREE FELL ON THIS BASTARD BUT NOTHING.
HE SURVIVED!!! HE SURVIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED
 

Applesauce

The Gypsy-The Acid Queen
Dec 9, 2008
24,574
4,173
323
Vfgdhfghsggds iit reminds me of the Tina scene in Napolean Dynamite where he's throwing food at the llama and it's making those noises at him!
Lolololololololloolllllllllllllllllllll
 

TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
50,241
28,102
1,073
Currently Locked up: esposa
it lives in my courtyard. it just belongs to the people who own the property.
it was a gift for their daughter 22 yrs ago and they thought it got lost and like years later the fucking huge ass Duke ressurects from the bowels of turtle hell and here it is... terrorizing me.
 

water

Flaccid Member
Oct 29, 2004
15,608
67
0
41
AZ
Has anyone posted "because you touch yourself at night" in response to the thread title?

I'm going to do that real quick to make sure the bases are covered.