why are people mean?

Mrs. Valve

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i know it's a bit random for first thing on a thursday, but here's a thought question for you guys for the day:

why are some people inherently mean, while others cannot find it in themselves to be mean?

my thoughts: being mean is seen to some as a means for social gain, to become accepted means to forcefully disavow friendly ties with a not-so-"popular" person or group. it takes extra energy to be mean, something humans would not necessarily put effort into for something like, let's say, making a regular weeknight dinner, exercising for an extra 10 mnutes, etc. some cannot find it in them to be mean because they simply don't care, can't afford the extra energy, or avoid situations where being mean is almost a requirement to fit in
 

Nyx

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Oh boy, there are a lot of possible answers to this, I'm going to be a bit random here.

1. Some people give what they get, i.e. if people have been mean to them they become mean, if people have been nice to them they become nice. These people are like societal mirrors, you see in them what you have been to them.
2. Some people are nasty because they feel that they have to prove something, that they are better, more important, etc. than whoever they are dealing with, sort of the "I can get away with it because I'm better" mentality.
3. Some people are mean because they enjoy the feeling of power over someone else, if they can humiliate or hurt another person that proves to them that they can influence others even if it is in a negative way.
4. The old thing about some kids preferring negative attention over being ignored? It's true, also with some so-called adults.
5. Some people want to prove that they can be mean but people will love them anyway, kind of a pushing people as far away as possible but pulling them back in an alternating pattern.
6. Some people are just plain bastards or bitches, for whatever reason may exist in their twisted little minds, or whatever passes for a mind anyway.
 
L

Lynnakitty

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Usually someone's mean when they're jealous about something... atleast that's what I've come to see...
 

Mrs. Valve

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dreamwalker said:
Oh boy, there are a lot of possible answers to this, I'm going to be a bit random here.

1. Some people give what they get, i.e. if people have been mean to them they become mean, if people have been nice to them they become nice. These people are like societal mirrors, you see in them what you have been to them.
2. Some people are nasty because they feel that they have to prove something, that they are better, more important, etc. than whoever they are dealing with, sort of the "I can get away with it because I'm better" mentality.
3. Some people are mean because they enjoy the feeling of power over someone else, if they can humiliate or hurt another person that proves to them that they can influence others even if it is in a negative way.
4. The old thing about some kids preferring negative attention over being ignored? It's true, also with some so-called adults.
5. Some people want to prove that they can be mean but people will love them anyway, kind of a pushing people as far away as possible but pulling them back in an alternating pattern.
6. Some people are just plain bastards or bitches, for whatever reason may exist in their twisted little minds, or whatever passes for a mind anyway.
how would you then explain a person who has never met another and yet is horribly mean to that other person, even going so far as to will them dead?
 

Nyx

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F33nX said:
how would you then explain a person who has never met another and yet is horribly mean to that other person, even going so far as to will them dead?
With no more information than that, assuming that there is no other factor to explain it, I would have to go with #6 as I listed, that some people are just plain bastards or bitches.

If there are other factors that would change my explanation. I've never met some people, such as terrorists, etc, but I wouldn't object if they were dead. I don't think that fits in the category of being "mean" however.

EDIT: Sounds like you might have a particular situation in mind, I'd be interested if you care to describe it in more detail.
 

Dory

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Some people can pic it up from their parents, some people are mean as a defense mechanism. Some people do it as a way of being accepted or because they just find it hard to be nice. Some people are scared of being push overs. Some people think that if they're nice people will want to get closer to them, it's a way of pushing people away and alienating yourself.

Some people are just hatefilled, they don't want to communicate with anybody. They've been hurt so badly that they do not want to form any relationships at all.

:)
 

Mrs. Valve

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April23 said:
So who has been mean to you, I'm ready to pry. :)
sigh, might as well explain...

there are a melange of people: some who have never met me, some who are acquainted with me and think they know me but really don't, and some who i would have considered to be my best friends, who have basically in the past 2 months ganged up on me and told me that the world would be better off if i either died in a horrible accident or killed myself. they harangue me everyday on another forum that was designed for our group of friends to stay in touch after we went our seperate ways, and yet i feel compelled to stay there because for some of us, it's the only way to stay in touch.

there was a pretty cataclysmic event that happened in may of this year that rended a lot of our friendships, which we all silently recognized would be patched over time as we all were acclimated to our new environments away from where we all lived. however, this group of people is so determined to ruin every friendship, every bond i have made with their group of friends that they've done everything except directly threaten me. i seriously fail to understand why, as what happened in may probably affected me the most negatively out of everyone to begin with. i've tried ignoring, they've called me a coward or insisted that i agree with their ridiculous epithets. no matter what i say in my defense, its warped and used against me. only today, two months after this started, has one person who i'd consider to still be my friend finally try to defend me. at this point, looking at this tableau that's been created on this other forum, i'm just fucking ready to give up on humanity.

too long, didn't care? understandable:p