What touchdown dance would cause the biggest possible fine?

S

simple

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Sep 30, 2004
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You would think it would be Adam Carolla's idea for the "Touchdown Poop," which I described two years ago -- basically, the guy scores a touchdown, then squats like he's on the bowl, stays there for a couple of seconds, turns the pages of an imaginary newspaper and finally "pushes" the ball between his legs. We figured that if Randy Moss did that, he would get suspended for a game and fined like $150,000. Plus, Joe Buck might start crying on the air.

But I think this one would be worse: "The Delivery." What if Moss scored a TD and immediately fell to the ground on his back, with his legs up in the air like a pregnant woman, and two receivers stood on either side "cheering him on," and Randy pretended he was pushing, and finally the QB leaned over him and "pulled" the football from Randy's loins, then held the football to his shoulder like a baby for a few seconds before Moss stood up, gingerly grabbed the "baby," cut an imaginary umbilical cord, then spiked the ball as hard as he possibly could? I think that would be like a three-game suspension and a $500,000 fine, right? Plus, Buck would be more distraught than Walter Cronkite after JFK's assassination. Let's hope and pray that Randy reads ESPN.com.
 
I call this one the Mr. Hanky

Moss pulls his jersey over his head, while opening a hidden Ziploc of chocolate pudding in his hands. He grabs the ball with his pudding covered hands, drenching the ball in 'poo'. Sticking the football in the head hole of his jersey, he dances around like Mr Hanky and wipes the ball on the goalpost and fans.
 
Drool-Boy said:
Ive always wanted to see one of the players run over and hug the crap out of a ref. Maybe turn him upside down and shake him a bunch.
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someone, someday will try to dryhump a ref.
 
Probably one that involved some kind of ethnic slant, sexual gesture, or in some way offended people who think video games are a waste of time.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
The "snowball"

The QB drops to his knees in front of the receiver and performs mock fellatio, eventually the receiver 'ejaculates' the ball in the direction of the QB's mouth, then the QB immediately turns to another player and 'spits' the ball in the direction of their mouth.
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hahahahha
 
you could balance the football up on the uprights and act like it's a slave up in the auction platform - it would go to the highest bidder (the receiver), he'll jump up there and punch the football down, then proceed to master it around field and like make it mow the fucking grass or something
 
then a couple plays later they could pretend like the football wanted its freedom, then both teams could simulate the civil war, anyways the football will ultimately beg for the right to vote, that's when the kicker should punt that bitch out of the stadium
 
elpmis said:
then a couple plays later they could pretend like the football wanted its freedom, then both teams could simulate the civil war, anyways the football will ultimately beg for the right to vote, that's when the kicker should punt that bitch out of the stadium
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Would the ball later in the game ask for reperations?
 
Drool-Boy said:
Would the ball later in the game ask for reperations?
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we'll have to celebrate the day the ball refused to be put in the back of the ball bag, you know, shit like that
 
What's that football? Huh? You think one of your kind should be PRESIDENT?

HAAHAHHAHAHAAHAH YEAH RIGHT

GO BACK TO LISTENING TO SOME OF YOUR YO YO GANGSTER FOOTBALL MUSIC YOU STUPID FOOTBALL
 
ml_king.JPG
 
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