what do you think?

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Thorn Bird

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May 24, 2005
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i have a girlfriend who has a special needs child. she will be turning 8 soon, and my friend and i were talking about how close puberty is getting. this child can't go to the bathroom by herself, which means my friend will ultimately be putting up with unpleasantries like having to deal with a period every month when her child gets her period.
we got to talking about the possibilities of a hysterectomy for this child. my friend doesn't even know if it's possible, but she is interested in at least getting some facts. so what do y'all think about a 12-year-old (or thereabouts) special needs child having a hysterectomy? facts: she will never be able to live on her own nor take care of herself. she does not speak nor communicate.
 
Thorn Bird said:
i have a girlfriend who has a special needs child. she will be turning 8 soon, and my friend and i were talking about how close puberty is getting. this child can't go to the bathroom by herself, which means my friend will ultimately be putting up with unpleasantries like having to deal with a period every month when her child gets her period.
we got to talking about the possibilities of a hysterectomy for this child. my friend doesn't even know if it's possible, but she is interested in at least getting some facts. so what do y'all think about a 12-year-old (or thereabouts) special needs child having a hysterectomy? facts: she will never be able to live on her own nor take care of herself. she does not speak nor communicate.
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That just seems really sad. Although I understand your friends point of view it seems cruel to launch this child into menapause for convienence. I know there maybe no hope of her ever being a fully functioning adult, or even a partially functioning adult so it seems but to take away her ability to be a women just seems mean.
 
this is why it's so hard. it's just not clear-cut. i can't decide either way, but i know there is the fear that this child might be sexually harassed one day. a hysterectomy would be a good form of birth control for a fear like that. it's not a big enough reason to do it based on that alone, but it's a significant point.

my friend had also heard of a story where the parents of a special needs child who was in a wheelchair wanted hormones that would stunt the child's growth. they had to get her in and out of a wheelchair and so on and feared that the time would come where they wouldn't be strong enough to do so. what about that situation?
 
it's obviously a tough decision but I think going through with it would be the right one in this case
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
So this isn't just Downs Syndrome then?

Sad :(
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she doesn't have downs. she is autistic and mentally retarded and has some physical issues too. there is no one term she has. she is a happy, beautiful child with special needs, basically. and my friend's a single mom, which is sooooo hard to be, yet she never complains.
 
Thorn Bird said:
my friend had also heard of a story where the parents of a special needs child who was in a wheelchair wanted hormones that would stunt the child's growth. they had to get her in and out of a wheelchair and so on and feared that the time would come where they wouldn't be strong enough to do so. what about that situation?
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Hormones that would stunt the child's growth would undoubtedly cause harm to organs and such, I think I'd have to disagree with doing that.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
Hormones that would stunt the child's growth would undoubtedly cause harm to organs and such, I think I'd have to disagree with doing that.
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without doing any research, i am agreeing with you. that seems way different than a hysterectomy. i just can't make up my mind about the hysterectomy either.
 
Thorn Bird said:
she doesn't have downs. she is autistic and mentally retarded and has some physical issues too. there is no one term she has. she is a happy, beautiful child with special needs, basically. and my friend's a single mom, which is sooooo hard to be, yet she never complains.
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this is one of the reason's I am fearful to ever have kids. I know I could make a good father but wow this would be so hard. I honestly dont think I could deal with having to take care of someone until I pass on.
 
Wasn't there some big huge news story about some parents who wanted to have their special needs child kept a child? They were going to give her a hysterectomy and remove some glands to keep her breasts from forming. Something else was going to be done, so that she did not grow anymore to.

Anyhow.... back to your friend...she has a legit concern. What other options has she looked into? How does her SO (if she has one) feel about it? How old is your friend? Does she have money for assisted living in the future?

This has got to be such a hard situation all around. I do not envy your friend.
 
BeerAd said:
this is one of the reason's I am fearful to ever have kids. I know I could make a good father but wow this would be so hard. I honestly dont think I could deal with having to take care of someone until I pass on.
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Well then that brings up a question in my mind. If you knew that your SO was going to have a special needs child would you support an abortion?

I would. I support abortion but don't actually think i would ever have one because i believe life starts upon conception but if i knew that i was going to have a special needs child I think i would abort. Life seems so tough for "normal" kids.
 
Dharma1521 said:
Well then that brings up a question in my mind. If you knew that your SO was going to have a special needs child would you support an abortion?

I would. I support abortion but don't actually think i would ever have one because i believe life starts upon conception but if i knew that i was going to have a special needs child I think i would abort. Life seems so tough for "normal" kids.
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Some of the greatest artist of our past had special needs.
 
oh boy... im at the hospital now, i could ask. but that still sounds like a crazy situation, i dont believe that they would do a hyst. on someone that young, just like a vasectomy.

as for insurance, they wont cover it. its not medically neccessary.

this is in fact going to be more of a morale debate, and a dr. that agrees with it. you can find the "right" dr. that will do anything for the right price. so its not an imposibility i believe.

give me more details.

full list of symptoms, and what exactly youd like to have happen and when and why. and ill go consult a dr.
 
Wow. Is this for real or did you pull a card from the game "Scruples"?

I guess the first thing to check would be the legality of the decision. It seems to me it would have to be a medical necessity in order to not be criminal. I mean, it just reeks of sterilizing the retarded.
 
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