Would a fun anecdote from this morning help?
Evidently I'm becoming lactose intolerant as I get older. Not only that but when it comes to eating I'm seemingly developing early onset alzheimer's as well. It's like I know what I ate to put me in the wretched I’m currently in, but damn if I can remember any of that as I’m actually eating. But anyhoo, to the point. Last night I had something of an upset stomach, so I drank a glass of chocolate milk before going to bed to settle things down.
Fast forward through 6 hours of sleep and sultry gastrointestinal activity to 5:30am. My GF decided to wake me up to inform me that I was ‘sleep farting’ again, and if I ever wanted to be invited back into the bedroom (for sleep or other activity) it would be in my best interest to get the hell out of there. Oh, and while I was exiled to the lower level of the townhouse I was welcome to start the coffee pot for her. Grumbling the entire time I made my way to the kitchen, seeing her kitty on the way through the living room. I’m a nice guy, so I start giving the cat scratchies for a bit to get her attention. Once she is fully committed (on her back waiting for belly rubs) I pull an about face and let her have it. All 42 seconds of pent-up anger, frustration, and sulfur from the smell.
Needless to say that neither the kitty nor my girlfriend were overly impressed. ‘S ok though, I was impressed enough for all three of us.
