ways I've wracked my nuts

J

jaxxor

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I was about 10 years old, and climbing around on a friend's swingset. I went hand over hand from one end to the other, and was trying to climb down. Well, I made it to the corner of the A frame at the end, and lost my grip. The crossbar nailed me right in the fucking taint, and my nuts slapped the bar like a coke-fueled pimp slapping a ho. The pain was excruciating, and I fell off the bar onto the gravel with one foot still draped over the bar. Nobody saw me, so I crawled over to my parent's car and layed down in the backseat for about an hour til I could walk.

Once when I was 15 I was swinging around an 8' piece of garden hose. The lawnmower had cut it up, and the metal end made a neat whistling noise when I swung it like a lasso. I thought it would be fun to pop it like a whip, so I whirled it as I could, then popped it like Indian Jones. The metal end flew out, then snapped back straight into my right ball. My brothers saw the whole thing and said I dropped like a sniper had shot me in the back.

There are more, but I can't think of them right now :eek:
 

Coqui

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The worst one for me was I was playing around with a bo staff and well I dropped it. One end ricochet right back up and just nipped the tip. That was the most pain I have ever experienced. I always thought a full hit would hurt the most, but it's the ones that barely hit you that are the worse.
 

bast_imret

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Coqui said:
The worst one for me was I was playing around with a bo staff and well I dropped it. One end ricochet right back up and just nipped the tip. That was the most pain I have ever experienced. I always thought a full hit would hurt the most, but it's the ones that barely hit you that are the worse.
You must get invites from all the gangs.


Mine was playing soccer. In umbro shorts with boxers on, hanging pretty much free as could be. Turned around right as someone was taking a practice shot at the goal from about 8 feet away. Smacked me right in the nuts. Hit the ground like a brick.

It's not the initial pain that gets you, it's the gut wrenching stomach ache that creeps up 30 seconds after, making you feel like your nuts are flaming balls of fire and you are going to puke.
 
J

jaxxor

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bast_imret said:
It's not the initial pain that gets you, it's the gut wrenching stomach ache that creeps up 30 seconds after, making you feel like your nuts are flaming balls of fire and you are going to puke.
YES :eek: that first shot that drops you like a rock is never as bad as the creeping agony.

One time I shot a bull in the testes with my Red Ryder BB gun. He stopped in his tracks, hunched up his shoulders, and picked one of his rear hooves off the ground. He just stood like that for a minute while I laughed hysterically.
 

BigDov

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jaxxor said:
YES :eek: that first shot that drops you like a rock is never as bad as the creeping agony.

One time I shot a bull in the testes with my Red Ryder BB gun. He stopped in his tracks, hunched up his shoulders, and picked one of his rear hooves off the ground. He just stood like that for a minute while I laughed hysterically.

OMG!!! :lol: That's hysterical!!!
 
J

jaxxor

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Worst I ever had was the first time I locked up the front brake on my brand new mountain bike when I was about 12, flew right off the seat and landed sac-first on that joint where the fork tube meets the top tube
that made me cringe. got a little pinching action in there too eh?
 
R

Restless

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i have been kicked in the nutz, more time then i care to rememer by my sister, it like her automatic reactionry place to attack.. it not a problem now as i have learnt to instictivly protect it whenever she's attacking..

i have squashed both testi's on the cross bar of my bike, plus football to plums many times too, so glad that they seems to still work :shifty:
 

APRIL

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I was jumping on a trampoline once when someone came up behind me and snapped a towel on my leg which made me jump off the trampoline in pain. When I did, I straddled the bar on the trampoline as I came down really hard.

My balls shiver when I talk about trampolines.
 
M

Millions

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Worst I ever had was the first time I locked up the front brake on my brand new mountain bike when I was about 12, flew right off the seat and landed sac-first on that joint where the fork tube meets the top tube
Same thing happened to me. Was riding my bike down our street...it was a huge hill...our neighbors stupid ass dog ran out in front of me in the middle of the street. Hit the brakes, flew forward, nailed my nuts on that same joint and flipped over the bike, landing on the goddamned dog that bit me in the arm. No one saw it and no one believed me. :(
 

JJ Lady

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Coqui said:
The worst one for me was I was playing around with a bo staff and well I dropped it. One end ricochet right back up and just nipped the tip. That was the most pain I have ever experienced. I always thought a full hit would hurt the most, but it's the ones that barely hit you that are the worse.
you don't have good bow staff skills :fly:
 

CletusJones

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ChikkenNoodul said:
Worst I ever had was the first time I locked up the front brake on my brand new mountain bike when I was about 12, flew right off the seat and landed sac-first on that joint where the fork tube meets the top tube
I have one better.
I was riding my Haro Group1 (I didn't want a mountain bike so I got an equivalently priced BMX) and cleaning some mud from the front tire with my foot. Well, long story short... my foot somehow got wedged between the top of the tire and the Y part of the fork. Immediately, the front wheel stopped completely and since I was already off balance the rear tire lifted. I went tumbling end over end two full rotations, smashing my balls on the crossbar of the frame each time and then once more when we both came slammed into the ground. I layed in the middle of the street, heaped in a pile with my bike, completely paralyzed with pain for what seemed like a lifetime.

I however know that it was only 5 minutes because the guy that saw the whole thing (and laughed his fucking ass off) said he got worried when I didn't move after 5 minutes so he came and checked on me.

EDIT: LOL IT'S HOW YOU LOST YOUR NUT! AM I RITE??? LOLLERSKATES
 

Syrup Beaver

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CletusJones said:
I have one better.
I was riding my Haro Group1 (I didn't want a mountain bike so I got an equivalently priced BMX) and cleaning some mud from the front tire with my foot. Well, long story short... my foot somehow got wedged between the top of the tire and the Y part of the fork. Immediately, the front wheel stopped completely and since I was already off balance the rear tire lifted. I went tumbling end over end two full rotations, smashing my balls on the crossbar of the frame each time and then once more when we both came slammed into the ground. I layed in the middle of the street, heaped in a pile with my bike, completely paralyzed with pain for what seemed like a lifetime.

I however know that it was only 5 minutes because the guy that saw the whole thing (and laughed his fucking ass off) said he got worried when I didn't move after 5 minutes so he came and checked on me.

EDIT: LOL IT'S HOW YOU LOST YOUR NUT! AM I RITE??? LOLLERSKATES
Owwwwwwwwww

Man that sounds fucking painful.

Haha, actually it could be, who knows. It was 16 years later though

And like I said, that gut-wrenching pain happened several times a day for a few days after the surgery. Once in a while I still randomly get it.