So instead of reading all your stories myself, I decided to anonymize then and let @APRIL read them all. Her votes and my votes collided on a single winner. This one:
Mr and Mrs Holmes
April sniffed the air with a hint of disgust as the Elantra limped its way through lite traffic. “You worked so hard to get the old man smell out of this car, Zac” she said to her pompadoured paramour. “But now it’s starting to come back.” She said, rolling down her window in a bid to freshen the air.
He flicked a slightly disapproving glance at his passenger as he moved the car into the turn lane to get off Hillsborough Avenue, taking a moment to glance into his rearview to assess if the police car three vehicles back was going to do the same. “What do you mean”, he said, feigning a slightly hurt tone to his voice. “I don’t smell a thing outside of cat.”
“What I mean, old man,” she said with a rapid reply. “Is that ever since we started contracting and stopped being on someone else’s payroll, you’ve started to let things lapse, like hygiene.” She pinched her nose in disgust as she continued. “If I knew you were going to start acting like a Florida retiree, maybe I would have picked someone closer to my own age.”
“You’re starting to sound like that multi-chinned douchebag who’s always bitching about something online’, Zac replied, turning the car into the neighborhood where their next job lay. “Besides, it’s not like those wrinkles creasing your tattoo have always been there.” The narrowing of April’s eyes at the statement made Zac quickly regret saying it. He knew he was going to pay for that later, most likely in the form of his wife buying a new cat.
“You’re hilarious” was her reply, but he could tell she was more focused on the job ahead. And it made him happy. It was only a year ago they both left their jobs full time and they boldly ventured off into this new world of theirs. “Independent Contractor” was their new and surprisingly exciting life. Who knew that a chance meeting at a virtualization conference would eventually become this completely new career that allowed such amazing freedom and autonomy. The fact that April stepped way out of her comfort zone and blissfully walked hand in hand along with him into this new direction made his heart happier every day. Sure, she can me an unmanageable pain in the ass that tends to do damage around the house when performing even the simplest of tasks (how does one break a pipe INSIDE a wall? He never figured that one out), but since they made their decision, he knew that she was the only one he could ever follow this path with.
The faded white car followed another turn. Typical Florida suburb, Zac mused to himself. Every third home the same floor plan, every neighborhood using the same HOA approved color scheme. A nightmare of middle class mediocrity along every street repeating itself again and again in some kind of commentary on where America lost its way. But it was in this construct of middle American anonymity that provided for the perfect refuge for people like April and himself. In this world of hard grass lawns, screen in lanais, and backyard swimming pools that never seem to get the proper maintenance, no one bothers to get to know those living in close proximity. It was the ultimate camouflage, and it served them well.
It was that same camouflage that also served the backdrop for their next job. It was a rush order, sent in via the usual method of referential, and didn’t allow for the proper planning. He was a bit concerned about that fact, but not tremendously. He and April made a great team, and their new life, far different than the IT based front they portrayed, was never dull.
The jobsite was just ahead, a small 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 1800 sq foot home at the end of a cul-de-sac. Intel suggested the target was inside as he pulled into the driveway. He and April gave a quick nod to each other as they quickly exited the vehicle and headed for the trunk. Zac waved his phone over the RFID chip on the trunk lid, popping it open to reveal an menagerie of weaponry. Pulling out a silenced .45, and nodding in approval as April chose the ninja-to and wakizashi combination that she favored, they quickly made their way to the front door, moving quickly to flank either side of it.
The Bluetooth headsets crackled softly. “Mr. and Mrs. Holmes. We have confirmation the package is in place. You are cleared to proceed. Cleanup team is 3 minutes out. Good luck”
Zac nodded to April, and smiled inside. This was the perfect life, he thought to himself as he kicked open the door.
“Alright baby, let’s get to work”.
-end-
Congrats to @Duke. You've got yourself a new Kindle!
Mr and Mrs Holmes
April sniffed the air with a hint of disgust as the Elantra limped its way through lite traffic. “You worked so hard to get the old man smell out of this car, Zac” she said to her pompadoured paramour. “But now it’s starting to come back.” She said, rolling down her window in a bid to freshen the air.
He flicked a slightly disapproving glance at his passenger as he moved the car into the turn lane to get off Hillsborough Avenue, taking a moment to glance into his rearview to assess if the police car three vehicles back was going to do the same. “What do you mean”, he said, feigning a slightly hurt tone to his voice. “I don’t smell a thing outside of cat.”
“What I mean, old man,” she said with a rapid reply. “Is that ever since we started contracting and stopped being on someone else’s payroll, you’ve started to let things lapse, like hygiene.” She pinched her nose in disgust as she continued. “If I knew you were going to start acting like a Florida retiree, maybe I would have picked someone closer to my own age.”
“You’re starting to sound like that multi-chinned douchebag who’s always bitching about something online’, Zac replied, turning the car into the neighborhood where their next job lay. “Besides, it’s not like those wrinkles creasing your tattoo have always been there.” The narrowing of April’s eyes at the statement made Zac quickly regret saying it. He knew he was going to pay for that later, most likely in the form of his wife buying a new cat.
“You’re hilarious” was her reply, but he could tell she was more focused on the job ahead. And it made him happy. It was only a year ago they both left their jobs full time and they boldly ventured off into this new world of theirs. “Independent Contractor” was their new and surprisingly exciting life. Who knew that a chance meeting at a virtualization conference would eventually become this completely new career that allowed such amazing freedom and autonomy. The fact that April stepped way out of her comfort zone and blissfully walked hand in hand along with him into this new direction made his heart happier every day. Sure, she can me an unmanageable pain in the ass that tends to do damage around the house when performing even the simplest of tasks (how does one break a pipe INSIDE a wall? He never figured that one out), but since they made their decision, he knew that she was the only one he could ever follow this path with.
The faded white car followed another turn. Typical Florida suburb, Zac mused to himself. Every third home the same floor plan, every neighborhood using the same HOA approved color scheme. A nightmare of middle class mediocrity along every street repeating itself again and again in some kind of commentary on where America lost its way. But it was in this construct of middle American anonymity that provided for the perfect refuge for people like April and himself. In this world of hard grass lawns, screen in lanais, and backyard swimming pools that never seem to get the proper maintenance, no one bothers to get to know those living in close proximity. It was the ultimate camouflage, and it served them well.
It was that same camouflage that also served the backdrop for their next job. It was a rush order, sent in via the usual method of referential, and didn’t allow for the proper planning. He was a bit concerned about that fact, but not tremendously. He and April made a great team, and their new life, far different than the IT based front they portrayed, was never dull.
The jobsite was just ahead, a small 3 bed, 2.5 bath, 1800 sq foot home at the end of a cul-de-sac. Intel suggested the target was inside as he pulled into the driveway. He and April gave a quick nod to each other as they quickly exited the vehicle and headed for the trunk. Zac waved his phone over the RFID chip on the trunk lid, popping it open to reveal an menagerie of weaponry. Pulling out a silenced .45, and nodding in approval as April chose the ninja-to and wakizashi combination that she favored, they quickly made their way to the front door, moving quickly to flank either side of it.
The Bluetooth headsets crackled softly. “Mr. and Mrs. Holmes. We have confirmation the package is in place. You are cleared to proceed. Cleanup team is 3 minutes out. Good luck”
Zac nodded to April, and smiled inside. This was the perfect life, he thought to himself as he kicked open the door.
“Alright baby, let’s get to work”.
-end-
Congrats to @Duke. You've got yourself a new Kindle!
That was my other winner.
