Tongsechs?

[Desslock]

Women accused of sexually assaulting man with cooking tongs
http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=352954

I hope they used lube.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

They musta lost their keys in there and were looking for them

 

[Syrup Beaver]

That's what he get fo' dissin' they boo

 

[Nyx]

Ouch!

"We have no descriptions of the women, being that (the victim) is not cooperating with the police," police spokesman Sgt. Mike Wilson said. "And there's little we can do to urge cooperation."

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

The ladies must have misheard "go get me a beer bitch" for "Please stuff these salad tongs up my ass".
Happens all the time.

 

[Nyx]

The ladies must have misheard "go get me a beer bitch" for "Please stuff these salad tongs up my ass".
Happens all the time.

But that's what "go get me a beer bitch" means, isn't it?

 

[tre]

what else would you use to take out the weiner?

 

[Syrup Beaver]

The ladies must have misheard "go get me a beer bitch" for "Please stuff these salad tongs up my ass".
Happens all the time.

One time I said "I said make it a rare steak wench" and woke up tied to a tree in Zimbabwe, naked and covered in honey

 

[smileynev]

One time I said "I said make it a rare steak wench" and woke up tied to a tree in Zimbabwe, naked and covered in honey

One time I said, "You are the best wife in the world, and I bow before your might and beauty," and wound up lashed to a gator in the Florida Everglades.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

One time I said "I said make it a rare steak wench" and woke up tied to a tree in Zimbabwe, naked and covered in honey

Hate when that happens

 

[Syrup Beaver]

One time I said, "You are the best wife in the world, and I bow before your might and beauty," and wound up lashed to a gator in the Florida Everglades.

Women don't hear so good do they?

 

[smileynev]

Women don't hear so good do they?

selective hearing, or so I've been told. I don't pay attention that much.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Women don't hear so good do they?

Seriously.
You can talk at them all day long and they dont hear a thing.
But squeak a little fart off acrossed the house and theyre all "I HEARD THAT!!!"

 

[Syrup Beaver]

selective hearing, or so I've been told. I don't pay attention that much.

Oh, that explains the cyanide in my eggs then

 

[Syrup Beaver]

Seriously.
You can talk at them all day long and they dont hear a thing.
But squeak a little fart off acrossed the house and theyre all "I HEARD THAT!!!"

Yep, or drop a bowling ball through the floor, shoot the TV, etc. - next thing they're calling asking what the hell you just did.

 

[BigDov]

Seriously.
You can talk at them all day long and they dont hear a thing.
But squeak a little fart off acrossed the house and theyre all "I HEARD THAT!!!"

I hate that too- or after I've exhausted all of my bullshit for the day and don't have anything left to say, THEN she wants me to come talk and spend time with her.

Something tells me there's nothing squeaky or little about your farts man. Not sure why that is either.

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Something tells me there's nothing squeaky or little about your farts man. Not sure why that is either.

I only blew the covers off the bed once dammit

 

[I Robert I]

I can't even imagine how huge the headlines would be if the genders were reversed in this scenario...

 

[Syrup Beaver]

I can't even imagine how huge the headlines would be if the genders were reversed in this scenario...

Quite true, because it's a guy it's a 'funny' piece, if it was a woman the ATF would've been called in to burn the perpetrator's house down.

 

[Desslock]

Quite true, because it's a guy it's a 'funny' piece, if it was a woman the ATF would've been called in to burn the perpetrator's house down.

And I would be asking for pics of the woman.