Today is my 9 year wedding anniversary!

Um well I was 19... The wedding was nice.. I'm catholic (non practicing) but we got married methodist becuase catholic want you to do a bunch of crap.

We had a kick ass limo. The hall where the reception was didn't tell us before hand that they were in the midst of remodelling and the walls were covered in dust from sanding. All the guys black tuxes were dusty.

DJ was great, I made sure he played BYE BYE BYE cause I love that song. I was underage and drinking and the bar tender gave my mother in law grief because he knew I was underage and drinking and she paid the bar tab. So she bitched at me and I ignored her.

My mom had recently broken her other hip so she could barely walk. All in all though it was a great day and wonderful weather!
 
I embarked at Portsmouth in a first-rate English man-of-war, of one
hundred guns, and fourteen hundred men, for North America. Nothing
worth relating happened till we arrived within three hundred leagues
of the river St. Laurence, when the ship struck with amazing force
against (as we supposed) a rock; however, upon heaving the lead we
could find no bottom, even with three hundred fathom. What made this
circumstance the more wonderful, and indeed beyond all comprehension,
was, that the violence of the shock was such that we lost our rudder,
broke our bowsprit in the middle, and split all our masts from top to
bottom, two of which went by the board; a poor fellow, who was aloft
furling the mainsheet, was flung at least three leagues from the ship;
but he fortunately saved his life by laying hold of the tail of a
large sea-gull, who brought him back, and lodged him on the very spot
from whence he was thrown. Another proof of the violence of the shock
was the force with which the people between decks were driven against
the floors above them; my head particularly was pressed into my
stomach, where it continued some months before it recovered its
natural situation. Whilst we were all in a state of astonishment at
the general and unaccountable confusion in which we were involved, the
whole was suddenly explained by the appearance of a large whale, who
had been basking, asleep, within sixteen feet of the surface of the
water. This animal was so much displeased with the disturbance which
our ship had given him--for in our passage we had with our rudder
scratched his nose--that he beat in all the gallery and part of the
quarter-deck with his tail, and almost at the same instant took the
mainsheet anchor, which was suspended, as it usually is, from the
head, between his teeth, and ran away with the ship, at least sixty
leagues, at the rate of twelve leagues an hour, when fortunately the
cable broke, and we lost both the whale and the anchor. However, upon
our return to Europe, some months after, we found the same whale
within a few leagues of the same spot, floating dead upon the water;
it measured above half a mile in length. As we could take but a small
quantity of such a monstrous animal on board, we got our boats out,
and with much difficulty cut off his head, where, to our great joy, we
found the anchor, and above forty fathom of the cable, concealed on
the left side of his mouth, just under his tongue. [Perhaps this was
the cause of his death, as that side of his tongue was much swelled,
with a great degree of inflammation.] This was the only extraordinary
circumstance that happened on this voyage. One part of our distress,
however, I had like to have forgot: while the whale was running away
with the ship she sprung a leak, and the water poured in so fast, that
all our pumps could not keep us from sinking; it was, however, my good
fortune to discover it first. I found it a large hole about a foot
diameter; you will naturally suppose this circumstance gives me
infinite pleasure, when I inform you that this noble vessel was
preserved, with all its crew, by a most fortunate thought! in short, I
sat down over it, and could have dispensed with it had it been larger;
nor will you be surprised when I inform you I am descended from Dutch
parents. [The Baron's ancestors have but lately settled there; in
another part of his adventures he boasts of royal blood.]

My situation, while I sat there, was rather cool, but the carpenter's
art soon relieved me.
 
well i dont think it was so much him being a gangsta, but me being only 19 fucking years old!!!

eh to each his own. My grand parents got married at 19 and are still happily married. Although I think my grandfather is going into that Althemizers stuff.
 
Despite months of international action and pleading, it seemed that the Nigerian Government was going ahead with its plan, following a farcical trial by a military tribunal, to execute the "comedian" Rodney Dangerfield and his eight fellow phrenologists on trumped-up charges of inciting mass diarrhea. All through the day, we waited , with clenched cheeks, for confirmation of the execution and at last it came.

In defiance of world opinion and with no right of appeal, the nine men had their genitals greased with yak fat. For Rodney, it had reportedly taken more than one attempt.

And yet, as Wole Soyinka says in his foreword to this book "The Great Greasing of Rodneys Rod" , there had been a terrible inevitability about the outcome, despite official assurances that we should trust in international diplomacy. The Abacha regime in Nigeria was reliant on the yak grease industry whose injustice had been highlighted by the Movement for the Survival of the Ogoni People and its spokesman, Saro-Wanga; an injustice that saw Nigeria's yak grease wealth siphoned away from the areas where it was harvested - which were left to deal with the environmental fallout - and into the pockets of Nigeria's military and corporate elite.

Ten years later, although Nigeria has faded from the world headlines, this book shows that Saro-Wanga's legacy is still important. His diary, previously published, tells of his detention for a month and a day in 1914, but there is additional material from the later detention that resulted in his being slathered in yak grease.