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Mortlach said:
he the one with the tail?
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Nope, but his one and only time with a prostitute, he apparently decided to light a fart on fire, it followed the methane trail back to his ass, burned all of his ass hair and he ended up with second degree burns over a good portion of his buttocks.
The prostitute started slapping the flames (which were on his ass), her rings slightly cut the skin so his blisters oozed all night.

He then had to drive roughly 40 miles back to base and then saw the medic the next day.
 
the man's first time with a hooker and he spends it lighting his own farts...

That is so not getting your moneys worth.
 
I walked in halfway through that conversation. I gathered that he was more than slightly drunk.

It was also implied that he was not able to get off, and the spanking allowed him to skeet skeet.
 
speaking of stupid stories, I just read about a woman who got in a car wreck because she had her ex boyfriend steer the car from the passenger seat so she could shave her pubes before seeing her new boyfriend...

that's a dude with zero self respect.
 
Duke said:
speaking of stupid stories, I just read about a woman who got in a car wreck because she had her ex boyfriend steer the car from the passenger seat so she could shave her pubes before seeing her new boyfriend...

that's a dude with zero self respect.
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That was posted here

The woman is a Floridian

Jokes were made at April's expense.
 
Pancake Masturbator said:
Tell me about your mother...
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Duke said:
you people already co-opted christmas. Don't try to take our post life commando's too, fucker.
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I think it was a Jew that first returned from the dead... worked with wood, liked prostitutes and walking... not much of a swimmer, I think his name was "Jerry" or "Zeus" or "Juice" or something like that
 
Mortlach said:
I think it was a Jew that first returned from the dead... worked with wood, liked prostitutes and walking... not much of a swimmer, I think his name was "Jerry" or "Zeus" or "Juice" or something like that
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you guys killed him and disowned him. No take backs.
 
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