This just in: xoblivion joins Useless Forums...

xoblivion

Flaccid Member
Jan 5, 2006
96
0
0
Marklar
₥0
AUTO GENERATED THREAD

I just activated my account and will be here shortly to answer all questions. Give me something to talk about!
 
There is only one person more awesome than me. That man's name is Chuck Norris.

Some more facts about Chuck Norris, that we all should have known already:

1. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two
seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse
kicks you in the face.

2. Chuck Norris only masterbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

3. When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay,
but because he has run out of women.

4. Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but
Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.

5. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot
broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart
while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

6. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets
the information he wants.

7. Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought
a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub.
Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had
gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its
neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good
Chuck, he taketh away.

8. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

9. There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who
have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

10. Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick
related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

11. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

12. Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

13. Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."

14. Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a
high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded
the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child.
Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and
then proceeded to bang every girl in the stadium.

15. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and
includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

16. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

17. There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and
Chuck Norris.

18. In the movie "Back to the Future" they used Chuck Norris' Delorean
to go back into time and into the future. When they gave it back to
him with a scratch on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J.
Fox, which years later was the cause of his Parkinson's disease.

19. Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and
meditating in peaceful soliude. Sundays are for oral $ex, KFC and
Tequila.

20. Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only
time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the
Holocaust.

21. Chuck Norris can enter up, up, down, down, left, right, left,
right, B, A, Select, Start using only his erection.

22. Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that
sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

23. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck
Norris allows to live.

24. When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe,
and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

25. Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection.
There were no survivors.

26. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris
could use to kill you, including the room itself.

27. Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

28. Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate
every last unicorn in existence.

29. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game
of tennis.

30. When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's
Chuck Norris!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the
third girl he had slept with.

31. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

32. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

33. Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up
with lactose's shit.

34. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

35. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's
pushing the Earth down.
 
Bubbles said:
who are you?

why are you here?

entertain the girls and you will have a better chance at getting in.

I'm Alex.

A buddy of mine sent me a link to join. I looked around breifly and thought, hey why not.
 
This Chuck Norris trend is possibly the most annoying internet trend of 2005/2006. I know it's really funny and all that, but please refrain from posting it.
 
Sorry ERage, not into guys.

To Thorn Bird. SpangeMonkee told me about it. Also, hello back.

To Galen. Really, I just read that Chuck Norris thing a few weeks ago and it was the first time I heard about it.
 
It's an instant ban on SA. No offence, but after reading it for what seems to be the 16th time, and having encountered people who think it's the funniest thing since shit crawled up the wall, I've come to hate it.
 
Let me tell you about ninja's and how much I like them. The other day I used the word ninjariffic. If that doesn't say you like ninja's then I don't know what does.
However neat ninja's may be I'm getting burrned out on them. They seem to be appearing more and more frequently.
 
No. I do have a fear of extremely fat people though. The fatter they are the more scared I become. The formula works something along the lines of 10:3 ratio, of fat:scared.

So I guess this is where I recipricate the question. Do you have an abnormal fear of any body parts of people.

Whoes theac.

My room mate has that book!
 
he browsed for like 10 minutes before signing up...surely he saw the comic and has already drawn his own conclusions :admin: