Ontopic The "Should not have done that" thread V. Sexual Misdeeds

Nobody's implying anything like that at all.
Just stating a grab to the throat or a kick, scream, and run is a far better self-defense maneuver than Facebook.
immi's first post about it that I initially quoted explicitly stated that he does not believe this young man was a victim and that Spacey is not guilty. it wasn't about whether or not there are safer reactions, it was about his validity as a victim.
 
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as I said, it's entirely valid and I think y'all know me well enough to know that I support that reaction 100%

but

the point I'm making is that it's not the only way someone would or could react, and that not reacting that way does not mean they wanted it.

I understand that people can do unpredictable, even nonsensical things when under attack or drunk.

I’m also allowed to wonder out loud why I believe they may behave that way.

If a person’s first reaction to be groped without wanting it is to log on, upload a video, text mom, take pics, instead of flight, there’s a problem there. IMO of course.
 
immi's first post about it that I initially quoted explicitly stated that he does not believe this young man was a victim and that Spacey is not guilty. it wasn't about whether or not there are safer reactions, it was about his validity as a victim.

That’s exactly what I said. Thank you.

In THIS case, I’m allowed to say I don’t believe the “victim”, and I don’t at all. As far as his other victims, they deserve to be heard.

Now, I hope this doesn’t come out as “He shouldn’t hadn’t worn that dress”-

I’ve known a LOT of gay people. A LOT of gay men. I’ve had many gay friends, and used to go to a bar with them every Friday night for two years. It was a mostly gay bar, but definitely gay friendly. The line that is drawn as to what is considered “of age” is really gray, more than in heterosexual situations. I won’t label Spacey a pedo until it comes out that he was involved with really really young dudes, not 18.

I guess in this case, a victim isn’t a victim until he posts it on Instagram.
 
immi's first post about it that I initially quoted explicitly stated that he does not believe this young man was a victim and that Spacey is not guilty. it wasn't about whether or not there are safer reactions, it was about his validity as a victim.

Because, to some of us at least, allowing the molestation to continue while you video it does not convey "NO" to anyone, be they the assaulter or those watching it happen.

I understand the freezing up thing. Lot of people think "oh I would do X" until they're actually in the situation then they freeze. Videoing is not freezing up.
 
Yes. I’ve known many gay guys. Many. Lived with one for a year. He was underage and had a boyfriend in his 30s. Super common.
So it was legal for that to happen, is what you're saying? You're saying there is no imbalance of power in that type of relationship? There isnt an aspect of predatory intent in the older males that exclusively sleep with underage boys?

Because something is common doesn't mean it is right.
 
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So it was legal for that to happen, is what you're saying? You're saying there is no imbalance of power in that type of relationship? There isnt an aspect of predatory intent in the older males that exclusively sleep with underage boys?

Because something is common doesn't mean it is right.
But you have no problem with that in male to female relationships apparently.
That was my point about misogynistic labeling of people, even if the object has bought into it: It's an unbalanced lack of interest in the person as a person and has a psychological predation to it. And it is a highly unsustainable focus.
Try Googling "why is objectification bad in relationships". Maybe you'll consider the wise words of experts.
 
So it was legal for that to happen, is what you're saying? You're saying there is no imbalance of power in that type of relationship? There isnt an aspect of predatory intent in the older males that exclusively sleep with underage boys?

Because something is common doesn't mean it is right.

I’m not talking about the legal sense, never said that.

What Milo said was something about how young gay men look for older men to be with, it’s a normal thing, blah blah, and he was just saying how it is. And it is that way.

I’m not talking about a 40 year old hitting on a 12 year old. The guy I knew that was with an older boyfriend was 17.
 
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