so after the epidural was really working its ass off, I started to get some (approx 20 minutes) of sleep when I was awoken by, suddenly, EVERYBODY in my room bc the FHR had dropped too low after the last contractions (which I slept through, thx drugs) and after a quick cervix check, turns out I was, like, fully ready to have this kid. they used a vacuum to assist just bc they wanted to get it out quick with the FHR rate thing but apparently I have amazing pelvic floor muscles (do you even kegel bro) ((lbr it's bc I poop a lot)) and it only took a few rounds of pushing before my little gremlin came out.
at one point, the vacuum popped off and sprayed us all with blood & viscera.
also my shit is TORE UP.
but, I got so many compliments from.the nurses about being so helpful & pleasant & easy going
anyway, here's Daphne
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