Baby The Official Baby/Fetus/BirthCanal Thread

Domon

Robotic Dexter
May 19, 2011
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Jason: "I need glue"
Me: "The glue gun is right there"
Jason: "Well, I didn't mean hot glue"
Me: "Then don't use the glue gun"
Jason: "I guess you just don't care about this at all"
Me: "You are correct"
would you have responded more amenably if he said "dad, can you help me find the glue please"?
 

Jehannum

HO HO HO METH GIANT
Jul 24, 2013
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Albuquerque, NM
would you have responded more amenably if he said "dad, can you help me find the glue please"?
I would have responded more amenably if, after I pointed out the glue gun that he'd left on the floor after his last project, he didn't look at me like a deer in the headlights, as if I was from a different planet.
 
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wetwillie

Know-It-All Pee-Paw
May 24, 2018
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I’m hoping my kids will live with me forever so I can gradually have them pay all the bills. A man with 3 kids should be able to retire by the time the youngest hits 25. Should be there in 25 years and 5 months.
Wait - your having another kid and the wife is 4 months pregnant. Hella way to make the announcement :)

oh, and things are fine. Well almost - the youngest is dragging her feet getting her phone switched into her name. THe oldest one FINALLY (almost 2 months after my deadline) got his own auto insurance.
 
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august

I’m always wet in my basement area
Sep 23, 2006
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Wait - your having another kid and the wife is 4 months pregnant. Hella way to make the announcement :)

oh, and things are fine. Well almost - the youngest is dragging her feet getting her phone switched into her name. THe oldest one FINALLY (almost 2 months after my deadline) got his own auto insurance.
OH DAMN good eye, sniper

congratulations, @OOD
 
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OOD

Yet ANOTHER ! Beautiful Bearded Rashner
Apr 16, 2016
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Hey @OOD #4 gonna be normal or, you know, like you
This one is number 3. The deal was one more if I could buy an American made bass and amp. Number 4 would probably get me a custom built bass.

With any luck they will have less than 2 percent of me in them, just like the awful shit on nutrition lists they keep below 2 percent as a flex.
 

Mr. Argumentor

Will Argue for Tacos
Sep 27, 2012
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Hey @OOD #4 gonna be normal or, you know, like you
high quality remake GIF
 
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august

I’m always wet in my basement area
Sep 23, 2006
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ok so first we had "guess what, chicken butt," which we taught her.

then, she embellished it on her own to be "chicken butt and toot mixed together."

yesterday, we were talking about anatomy/parts of the digestive system, starting with mouth and esophagus and stomach and small intestines and large intestines, and then going a bit deeper into the different sections of the large intestine/colon. I would say a part (cecum, ascending colon, hepatic flexure, transverse colon, splenic flexure, descending colon, sigmoid colon, rectum, anus) and describe where it was or what it did and she'd repeat it. and when I got to anus, she SHRIEKED it back at me, just absolutely loved that word, and now we have:

 

TuhMollie

Lot's Salty Wife
Nov 16, 2010
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Currently Locked up: esposa
ok so first we had "guess what, chicken butt," which we taught her.

then, she embellished it on her own to be "chicken butt and toot mixed together."

yesterday, we were talking about anatomy/parts of the digestive system, starting with mouth and esophagus and stomach and small intestines and large intestines, and then going a bit deeper into the different sections of the large intestine/colon. I would say a part (cecum, ascending colon, hepatic flexure, transverse colon, splenic flexure, descending colon, sigmoid colon, rectum, anus) and describe where it was or what it did and she'd repeat it. and when I got to anus, she SHRIEKED it back at me, just absolutely loved that word, and now we have:


she is fkn awesome
 

Domon

Robotic Dexter
May 19, 2011
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The 5 year old has had a mid-grade fever for 8 days now, and while she's largely ok and feeling decent one of the side effects is that she wakes up every 40 minutes at night super frustrated kicking and whining. This results in... less than optimal sleep for me and peanut.

Got desperate after a week of that, and tried some hippie remedies

61Ah-rwYHOL._AC_SL1000_.jpg


Holy crap. She went to bed immediately, and slept like a rock for almost 12 hours without waking up once. I woke up a couple time to make sure she wasnt dead...

I was skeptical at first cause melatonin does nothing or less than nothing for me. But this stuff works so good youd think it was chloroform
 
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wetwillie

Know-It-All Pee-Paw
May 24, 2018
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The 5 year old has had a mid-grade fever for 8 days now, and while she's largely ok and feeling decent one of the side effects is that she wakes up every 40 minutes at night super frustrated kicking and whining. This results in... less than optimal sleep for me and peanut.

Got desperate after a week of that, and tried some hippie remedies

61Ah-rwYHOL._AC_SL1000_.jpg


Holy crap. She went to bed immediately, and slept like a rock for almost 12 hours without waking up once. I woke up a couple time to make sure she wasnt dead...

I was skeptical at first cause melatonin does nothing or less than nothing for me. But this stuff works so good youd think it was chloroform
Cool. A certain percentage of folks do much better on a lower dose, a higher one disrupts sleep. https://www.healthline.com/health/melatonin-overdose
Less is more.