Halp The new "2 girls 1 tampon" thread

Yesterday my girlfriend had a meeting from 9 am until 5 pm. Horrible way for her to spend a Sunday. So I took her dog for a 10-mile walk, came home and showered, lit some candles, and made her grilled salmon with homemade lime butter sauce and garlic shrimp penne pasta. After she got home and we ate, I sat her down on the sofa with some red wine, turned on some tv smut, and cleaned the kitchen. She was very happy. Which made me very happy.
 
My wife has been super mega pms bitch all weekend. Constantly trying to start fights with me or fussing at my son nonstop. So yesterday I couldn't take it anymore and told her I was going to hang out with a friend of mine. She then all sad face asked me "Why don't you want to hang out with me?" Because you're THE DEVIL!!!!



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YwAHkFz-fvQ&feature=related&feature=iv#t=4m34s

I still can't figure out how to add in a stop point.
 
Yesterday my girlfriend had a meeting from 9 am until 5 pm. Horrible way for her to spend a Sunday. So I took her dog for a 10-mile walk, came home and showered, lit some candles, and made her grilled salmon with homemade lime butter sauce and garlic shrimp penne pasta. After she got home and we ate, I sat her down on the sofa with some red wine, turned on some tv smut, and cleaned the kitchen. She was very happy. Which made me very happy.

I don't think NME has a dog though.
 
Yesterday my girlfriend had a meeting from 9 am until 5 pm. Horrible way for her to spend a Sunday. So I took her dog for a 10-mile walk, came home and showered, lit some candles, and made her grilled salmon with homemade lime butter sauce and garlic shrimp penne pasta. After she got home and we ate, I sat her down on the sofa with some red wine, turned on some tv smut, and cleaned the kitchen. She was very happy. Which made me very happy.

Thats a lovely story, Damon.
 
Glad things are working out with the new lady Sarcasmo.

I once heard some of the best wisdom ever from a divorce attorney. No matter how wonderful your new lady appears to be, at some point in time she was some other suckers most evil bitch in the world.
 
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These pretzles are making me thirsty

i bought a few ounces of M&M's pretzals on friday night. they should be here tomorrow or whatever.

i'm beginning to think that was a terrible, terrible idea. sort of like the time i bought milk duds and they had congealed en route into a giant heavyweight unedible.