let me introduce you to some of my coworkers (names and faces have been changed in case they see this)
on my left i share a with pessimist. if it's sunny she'll complain it's cold. if her work gets done she'll complain she's bored. she makes for some fun tho, since i moved my cube over here she's lightened up a bit
behind me to my right i have know-it-all. she advises people on pregnancy when she adopted all of her kids. she has a puppy and is instantly the expert and master of obedience school, and tells everyone else with a pet how to treat them. she tells everyone, including the vice president of our department, how to do their jobs. she's really touchy-feely and that creeps me out, i almost accidentally hit her when she put her hand on my back yesterday because she scared/creeped me out so badly. i'm hoping for the day when she tries to advise me on something and i get to tell her she's wrong
behind pessimist is brain cell 1, aptly named because that's all she has. she's worked here since she was 16 and no one has the balls to fire her, even though she still doesn't know the difference between compounding and accruing, and has messed up the bank's CEO's (and wife's) accounts because of this
across the floor i've got hero, who is really my hero at the office. he knows everything and anything about access and our online processing systems, which makes him an indelible lifeline around here. trouble is he gets picked on for no reason by the boss other than she can't use his work as her own (cuz she's not that smart)
brain cell 2 sits in front of hero. she is so named because she knocks all two of them together and they must hurt her, because she constantly complains. i sit 25 feet away from her and i can her every word that comes out of her mouth. she acts like she just fell off the boat, can't use a computer (which is CRUCIAL around here), and makes everyone else cover up her mistakes.
my boss is fatty mc fatso, a woman who spoils herself and her child (think dursley's kid from harry potter). all she talks about is food and her exorbitant amounts of money, eats 5 meals in the span of 8 hours, and waddles around the building. is generally nice, unless she has a bad milkshake or randomly twigs out, then we all hide under our desks.
yep, it's fun around here.
I 
you F33nX!!!!
