The Fly Trap (Possibly NSFW)

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Josh

Biff Clurton
Oct 9, 2006
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Ear aches, infections, and plugged up ear canals suck. I had a spell for 9 months where one ear would be plugged up, aching, on fire for about two weeks, then clear up. Then a week later it would migrate to the other ear. Saw an ENT doc twice, was given some steroidal cream to shove in my ear, but it didn't help. Finally it went away. Man, ears can be so stupidly sensitive too. Excruciating pain too.
 

JAXvillain

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Oct 13, 2004
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"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts
of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all
the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to
the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from
them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat
made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me
to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only
sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based
intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for
several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you
have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the
Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the
Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the
way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made
out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking.
The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat.
The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been
trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their
years."

"So what does the meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore
the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information.
The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio.
'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You
know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by
flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting
air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you
advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any
and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without
prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase
the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make
contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat.
How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we
dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat
containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only
travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light
and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty
slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the
ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed?
You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their
heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to
them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be
meat's dream."

"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any
others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in
a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic
rotation ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the
universe would be if one were all alone."
 

thrawn

Flaccid Member
Oct 13, 2004
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"They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"Meat. They're made out of meat."

"Meat?"

"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts
of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all
the way through. They're completely meat."

"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to
the stars."

"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from
them. The signals come from machines."

"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."

"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat
made the machines."

"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me
to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only
sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based
intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for
several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you
have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the
Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the
Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the
way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made
out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking.
The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat.
The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been
trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their
years."

"So what does the meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore
the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information.
The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio.
'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You
know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by
flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting
air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you
advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any
and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without
prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase
the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make
contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat.
How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we
dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat
containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only
travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light
and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty
slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the
ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you have probed?
You're sure they won't remember?"

"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their
heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to
them."

"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be
meat's dream."

"And we can mark this sector unoccupied."

"Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any
others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"

"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in
a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic
rotation ago, wants to be friendly again."

"They always come around."

"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the
universe would be if one were all alone."

for some reason i was intrigued and read all of that at about 4am today
 

Josh

Biff Clurton
Oct 9, 2006
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this + two of these :drool: Gunna hack it and chroot debian and all that goodness. I couldn't justify spending an extra $80 per drive to get the 1TB models. RAID1 here I come. Even if it is software RAID1. Better than what I have now, plus a shitton more space.

Man this dlink unit is pretty damn cool. Surprisingly fast transfers too. I got a ~680gb RAID1 partition set up, getting about 13 - 15MB/sec network transfers over gigabit. I think I want to figure out how to format the drives in ext3 instead of the default ext2. Journaled filesystems ftw.
 

Dharma1521

Soooo do I look as young as I look?
Apr 5, 2006
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Ok, now I'm sure that the response that I will get from you guys is that I'm crazy. However, I will ask anyway. I went to get my car worked on today. The dealership is on a main road there was no parking in the service department so I was about 2 inches from the main road. The car lackey told me to leave my key in the unmonitored car. I haven't even checked in yet no one besides this guy knows that I'm here. I told him that if I was parked in the service center that I would be fine with that but since I'm outside of the view of all the attendents that I am not going to leave my key in the car. I offered to stand out there with the car so that I would be able to hand over the key but no no now I"m the bitch of the car lot.
 

APRIL

Feel Free to Pee on Me
Sep 30, 2004
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Ok, now I'm sure that the response that I will get from you guys is that I'm crazy. However, I will ask anyway. I went to get my car worked on today. The dealership is on a main road there was no parking in the service department so I was about 2 inches from the main road. The car lackey told me to leave my key in the unmonitored car. I haven't even checked in yet no one besides this guy knows that I'm here. I told him that if I was parked in the service center that I would be fine with that but since I'm outside of the view of all the attendents that I am not going to leave my key in the car. I offered to stand out there with the car so that I would be able to hand over the key but no no now I"m the bitch of the car lot.

You don't need a story to prove your crazy. :lol:
 
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