The Fly Trap (Possibly NSFW)

Status
Not open for further replies.

ERage

Giant Member
Nov 7, 2005
4,158
1
232
Marklar
₥5
Oh No! I'm in Thunderbolt right now and that is a really small town.

...A TORNADO WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 1115 AM EST FOR EAST CENTRAL CHATHAM COUNTY...

AT 1059 AM EST...NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR CONTINUED TO INDICATE A TORNADO. THIS TORNADO WAS LOCATED NEAR RIVERSIDE...OR ABOUT 7 MILES EAST OF SAVANNAH...MOVING NORTHEAST AT 40 MPH.

SOME LOCATIONS IN OR NEAR THE PATH OF THIS STORM INCLUDE... RIVERSIDE... THUNDERBOLT AND WILMINGTON ISLAND.

HEAVY RAINFALL MAY OBSCURE THIS TORNADO. TAKE COVER NOW! IF YOU WAIT TO SEE OR HEAR IT COMING...IT MAY BE TOO LATE TO GET TO A SAFE PLACE.

TO REPORT SEVERE WEATHER SUCH AS HAIL...DOWNED TREES...LIMBS...AND POWER LINES...PLEASE CONTACT THE CHARLESTON NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE TOLL FREE AT 1-888-383-2024 OR EMAIL YOUR REPORTS TO [email protected].

LAT...LON 3200 8106 3208 8104 3209 8103 3210 8099 3209 8099 3206 8096 3204 8094 3202 8095 3199 8097 TIME...MOT...LOC 1600Z 211DEG 35KT 3209 8097
 

b_sinning

Erect Member
Nov 22, 2004
22,790
47
41
46
Savannah, GA
Marklar
₥10
I love how they send out bad weather alerts so idiots race out of work right into the weather they just warned you about.



A window did get blown out on my floor by wind two days ago.
 

ERage

Giant Member
Nov 7, 2005
4,158
1
232
Marklar
₥5
it's all good, the storm is actually mostly past us now. The warning came after it was already too late.
 

Jonny_B

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
9,162
26
41
Marklar
₥76
Clinton hinting at Clinton-Obama democratic ticket again

http://www.cbsnews.com/blogs/2008/03/07/politics/fromtheroad/entry3917679.shtml

I can't help but be reminded of Chris Rock though
Thank you, Dennis! Now, as you know, there's a lot of talk about a black Vice-President, and I want to tell the world that it's not gonna happen. As long as you live, you wil never see a black Vice-President. You know why? 'Cause some black guy will just kill the President, that's why. I would do it. If Colin Powell was Vice-President, I would kill the President, and tell his mother about it, okay? What would happen? What would they do? What are they gonna do, put me in jail with a bunch of black guys who are gonna treat me like a hero for the rest of my life? I would be the biggest star in jail, man! Guys would be coming up to me, I'd be signing autographs: "97-KY, there you go!" Guys would be saying, "Hey, man, you the brother that shot Bush! And you told his mother about it, huh? Yo, I hope my children turn out to be just like you, man! You know, I was getting ready to rape you, until I realized who you were!" And even if they had a death penalty, what would would happen? I would just get pardoned by the black President! So, as you can see, Dennis, it would not be in George Bush's best interests to place Colin Powell on the ticket. Thanks a lot, Dennis!
 

Jonny_B

Erect Member
Oct 14, 2004
9,162
26
41
Marklar
₥76
I just got back from the grocery store. After I returned I was in the laundry room, folding some laundry, whistling a jaunty tune when it hit me.

I got rickrolled by the muzak.
 

b_sinning

Erect Member
Nov 22, 2004
22,790
47
41
46
Savannah, GA
Marklar
₥10
Here it is.




wallmart.jpg


his is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas.
They hired him because he was so funny…..

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company‘s President or Vice President. But seriously, what ever‘s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn‘t be applying here in the first place

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that‘s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I‘m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:

It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:

Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30–3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:

Yes, but they‘re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?:

If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM

LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:

Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:

I think the more appropriate question here would be ‘Do you have a car that runs?‘

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?:

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?:

On the job-no! On my breaks-yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?:

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond supermodel who thinks I‘m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I‘d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE:

7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF

YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:

Oh yes, absolutely.
 

BeerAd

Flaccid Member
Aug 15, 2005
13,322
2
0
39
Largo, Florida
Marklar
₥0
NWS NWS

Pretty much just a chick in thong but I couldn't resist laughing my ass off... look at the whole picture :fly:

Is it just me or is that actually funny as hell, think I may just be weird :p

 
Status
Not open for further replies.