In my youth I lived near one of the offshoots of the Patapsco State Park. Many a summer afternoon was spent wandering through the sun-dappled paths that wove in and out of these majestic trees. One one such afternoon I came across the oddest thing, a cookie, lying in the path. Not knowing where it came from, but being a fan of cookies in general, I took a bite to see if it was good. Was it good? My god yes, it was the best cookie I had eaten at that point in my young life. I finished the cookie and resumed my meandering. An undetermined distance further down the path I found another cookie. Not the same type, but in a similar presentation. That cookie, while different, was equally as good as the other.
Much to my surprise, I could then see the next cookie in the chain, leading me even further down the path. I followed this line of sweets, delving deeper into the forest than I had previously gone. As the cookies began appearing closer and closer, I became aware of the most glorious tree I had ever seen. Was it Oak? Maple? Douglas Fir? That day I found myself wishing I knew more about trees so that I could categorize the feeling of wonder that had swept over me. It felt somehow inappropriate to say "This is the greatest 'tree' ever". I needed to label it, to own it, to make it my own.
The cookies led to a small hollow at the base of the tree, a brief investigation revealed a small wooden door cunningly placed among the roots and bark. The lightest imaginable pressure, once applied, opened this portal into the unknown. The immediate area was softly lit by a non-direct light source, giving the impression of warmth and invitation. How could I not continue my journey, especially with the continued presence of cookies guiding my path. A short jaunt down this natural hallway took me to the heart of the tree. Now, as impressive as the outside was the inside literally stole the breath from my lungs. Honeycombed throughout the entire structure were pathways, workshops, even little homes. Everywhere I looked there were little people, going about their business until with a collective gasp the saw me.
And that's when I was raped by the Keebler elves.
