The Dating Lighthouse: Part 4

DirkPhoenix said:
In early times, people set fires at the edge of the water to warn boats of dangerous rocks and shores. In modern times, I will write stories at the edge of insanity to warn people of dangerous bitches and whores.

You know it's an odd weekend when you look back and say with complete honesty, "After all of that, eating stomach lining wasn't that bad."

For weeks, I knew what was coming. I thought of ways to get out of it, I even considered breaking a limb just to find an excuse. I had said yes, and at this point my word is the only thing I take pride in. That and my unbelieveable game playing skills.

So at 5am we rise to drive to see her parents.

After a nice (read: 5 hour) drive, we arrive, exchange pleasantries, and get down to the business at hand. That business: sitting around and watching TV. Now, I'm not against sitting and watching TV, but when I have to drive across the state to watch TV, I tend to get a bit upset. During the drive down, I forced myself to enjoy the situation I put myself in. Happy face, no focusing on the bad, just give it a try.

So after the 2-hour family nap, I can now say that I have napped in 2 different zip codes. I'd give myself a high-five, but I'm too busy weeping. We then trek to dinner, then back to the house so that I can work on her mother's laptop. (Note to self: forget everything you know about computers. This will prolong your life and prevent the inevitable, "Hey, Dirk's a computer science guy. He can fix that little broken door on the laptop!") Then came some good old-fashioned card playing, and then off to bed unfulfilled because "the bed might squeak", and she doesn't want her family to think badly of her. I will leave the next section blank so that you may fill in your own comment.






Thank you.

So in the morning, and after I "fixed" the laptop, then came the menudo. It smelled...interesting, and looked like something that (I apologize) a poor family would eat and then decades later call it a traditional Mexican dish. The funny shaped "noodles" inside did not deter me; I was here to try anything and have a good time. After a bowl of what I would later find out consists of hominy soup with tripe (or as the rest of the world knows it, "the stomach lining of a pig") we trek back to the Land of Phoenix, with the joyful squeals of the woman beside me.

Looking back, (at around 4am) I knew then and there 1.) I whipped myself and 2.) "After all of that, eating stomach lining wasn't that bad."

I am now taking orders for a high-powered rifle bullet to the back of my head.
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LOL. Sounds like one of our family vacations. Only difference is that someone always gets drunk and makes an ass out of themselves.

I have surrendered myself to the fact that if I will have to make certain sacrifices such as trips to Alabama for the rest of my life, I may as well do it with a smile. You are correct: at the end (most of the time) you end up saying to yourself: "that wasen't so bad!" I can only imagine the mind torture Shawn had to endure before going on a 7 day cruise with my family last winter. Grandma and parents friends included.

You can be thankful for one thing: a five hour drive is too far to have to see the "relatives" for every friggin' holiday known to man. My mom has special "homecoming" dinners when my sister comes home from College, which is a total of 20 miles away. Christmas is like a nightmare - one family is always let down and/or pissed off because they have to share you, and you end up driving all friggin day when all you want to do is lay around and watch "The Christmas Story."
 
Candy said:
LOL. Sounds like one of our family vacations. Only difference is that someone always gets drunk and makes an ass out of themselves.

I have surrendered myself to the fact that if I will have to make certain sacrifices such as trips to Alabama for the rest of my life, I may as well do it with a smile. You are correct: at the end (most of the time) you end up saying to yourself: "that wasen't so bad!" I can only imagine the mind torture Shawn had to endure before going on a 7 day cruise with my family last winter. Grandma and parents friends included.
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Thank God for getting capped up and talking to your dad about marrying you. :lol:
 
Bubbles said:
Ah Candy...I believe you missed the problem here. See, you LIKE your boyfriend...this guys girlfriend is PSYCHO TO THE MAX and he should not be having anything to do with this family.
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Really? How do you know she is psyco? I know the tripe thing sounds linda wierd, but I'm not familiar with their "history" I suppose...
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
But a five hour drive means that you have overnight visits.

A 3 mile drive ensures you never have to sleep under the same roof again, thank god.
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I'm with you on this one, but holidays are difficult when you live close. Everyone fights over which family you will spend it with...my family does at least. :eek:
 
Candy said:
Really? How do you know she is psyco? I know the tripe thing sounds linda wierd, but I'm not familiar with their "history" I suppose...
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You haven't read any of his stories??????????????? You need to read The Dating Lighthouse parts 1-3....then you tell me if his girlfriend has problems or not. :heart:
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
But a five hour drive means that you have overnight visits.

A 3 mile drive ensures you never have to sleep under the same roof again, thank god.
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True, although she still tries to get us to "spend the night" on Christmas Eve and wear speacial "Christmas PJ's." Keep in mind I have a 22 year old sister who brings her b-friend and also a 24 year old brother. We get to go home because we have to "walk the dogs;" The siblings get to stay and have a "sleepover." because they all live "way to far to drive home at night." :fly:
 
Bubbles said:
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You haven't read any of his stories??????????????? You need to read The Dating Lighthouse parts 1-3....then you tell me if his girlfriend has problems or not. :heart:
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Nope, Ill have to check them out. I have always been curious about them, just haven't had the time.
 
Bubbles said:
I'm with you on this one, but holidays are difficult when you live close. Everyone fights over which family you will spend it with...my family does at least. :eek:
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Heh, I don't have that problem. My mom is cool so she always stays with us, and with the in-law's close it makes for nice dinners without having to spend hours getting beds and towels ready 'n stuff.
 
Poor Dirk. If he'd take this stuff to the Dallas Theater District and put on a one-man show, at least he'd get paid to discuss his relationship bliss.
 
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