The Dating Lighthouse: Part 4

DirkPhoenix

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Sep 30, 2004
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Austin, Land of pot and...pot
www.jesustomars.com
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In early times, people set fires at the edge of the water to warn boats of dangerous rocks and shores. In modern times, I will write stories at the edge of insanity to warn people of dangerous bitches and whores.

You know it's an odd weekend when you look back and say with complete honesty, "After all of that, eating stomach lining wasn't that bad."

For weeks, I knew what was coming. I thought of ways to get out of it, I even considered breaking a limb just to find an excuse. I had said yes, and at this point my word is the only thing I take pride in. That and my unbelieveable game playing skills.

So at 5am we rise to drive to see her parents.

After a nice (read: 5 hour) drive, we arrive, exchange pleasantries, and get down to the business at hand. That business: sitting around and watching TV. Now, I'm not against sitting and watching TV, but when I have to drive across the state to watch TV, I tend to get a bit upset. During the drive down, I forced myself to enjoy the situation I put myself in. Happy face, no focusing on the bad, just give it a try.

So after the 2-hour family nap, I can now say that I have napped in 2 different zip codes. I'd give myself a high-five, but I'm too busy weeping. We then trek to dinner, then back to the house so that I can work on her mother's laptop. (Note to self: forget everything you know about computers. This will prolong your life and prevent the inevitable, "Hey, Dirk's a computer science guy. He can fix that little broken door on the laptop!") Then came some good old-fashioned card playing, and then off to bed unfulfilled because "the bed might squeak", and she doesn't want her family to think badly of her. I will leave the next section blank so that you may fill in your own comment.






Thank you.

So in the morning, and after I "fixed" the laptop, then came the menudo. It smelled...interesting, and looked like something that (I apologize) a poor family would eat and then decades later call it a traditional Mexican dish. The funny shaped "noodles" inside did not deter me; I was here to try anything and have a good time. After a bowl of what I would later find out consists of hominy soup with tripe (or as the rest of the world knows it, "the stomach lining of a pig") we trek back to the Land of Phoenix, with the joyful squeals of the woman beside me.

Looking back, (at around 4am) I knew then and there 1.) I whipped myself and 2.) "After all of that, eating stomach lining wasn't that bad."

I am now taking orders for a high-powered rifle bullet to the back of my head.
 
Should have told her the floor doesn't squeak. One ex-girlfriend we had sex on her parents couch and broke it. The rest of the weekend we sat on the other couch and waited for someone to sit on that couch so we could scream they broke it to cover our butts.
 
I just brought Amy (Track 5/Candy, etc) to my grandma's house in Flatwood, Alabama. I have never in my 32 years, for reasons of pride and safety, brought a woman to that place until now. The house should be condemned. You could put a tennis ball on the floor and it would roll around.

As to not thread jack, I'll post some pics in their own thread.
 
DirkPhoenix said:
In early times, people set fires at the edge of the water to warn boats of dangerous rocks and shores. In modern times, I will write stories at the edge of insanity to warn people of dangerous bitches and whores.

You know it's an odd weekend when you look back and say with complete honesty, "After all of that, eating stomach lining wasn't that bad."

For weeks, I knew what was coming. I thought of ways to get out of it, I even considered breaking a limb just to find an excuse. I had said yes, and at this point my word is the only thing I take pride in. That and my unbelieveable game playing skills.

So at 5am we rise to drive to see her parents.

After a nice (read: 5 hour) drive, we arrive, exchange pleasantries, and get down to the business at hand. That business: sitting around and watching TV. Now, I'm not against sitting and watching TV, but when I have to drive across the state to watch TV, I tend to get a bit upset. During the drive down, I forced myself to enjoy the situation I put myself in. Happy face, no focusing on the bad, just give it a try.

So after the 2-hour family nap, I can now say that I have napped in 2 different zip codes. I'd give myself a high-five, but I'm too busy weeping. We then trek to dinner, then back to the house so that I can work on her mother's laptop. (Note to self: forget everything you know about computers. This will prolong your life and prevent the inevitable, "Hey, Dirk's a computer science guy. He can fix that little broken door on the laptop!") Then came some good old-fashioned card playing, and then off to bed unfulfilled because "the bed might squeak", and she doesn't want her family to think badly of her. I will leave the next section blank so that you may fill in your own comment.

At this point, I had taken my limit of shit from this woman. As I looked into her starry, wimpering eyes, I began to feel something welling up from within me. What was it? It could be my stomach lining rejecting the fucking PIG STOMACH LINING I ate, but it wasn't. It could be another emo cryfest, but it wasn't. It was rage. Pure, unadulterated rage. I couldn't control it. I grabbed the first thing I could find and began bashing her head with it. Into the 5th or 6th American Psycho-type skull smash, I realized that I had picked my cell phone to Ike this bitch with. "Great," I thought in my head, "this is the second cell phone that this bitch has ruined." I smashed her head so hard and deeply, she didn't even have a chance to scream. It was wonderful. She was dead, and I didn't even stir anyone.

I quickly grabbed the car keys and drove to Mexico. Sadly, I forgot my wallet with my credit/atm cards. I only had about $2 in change on me. Famished from my utter and complete beating of that trick, I decided to get some food in Mexico. Having only $2 dollars, I had to get the cheapest thing on the menu. Tripe.

Fuck
 
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DirkPhoenix said:
Best moment of the morning:

Mom: Do you know what menudo is, Dirk?
Dirk: Aren't they a band?

The confused looks made it all worthwhile.

And we'll have to see about poker. Just got word i'm spending what might be the next 10 days in Manassas, Virginia ( :fly: )

:lol:

That's cool, let me know...or else....I'll sick a mexican boy-band on you.