Texans, I need you

There is always the perch and walleye that comes from a lake fed by a flammable river.....
 
WTF is with this place? I can see my breath this morning. I freeze all day, and maybe by 3pm or so (I don't know because I am in this wickedly cold office) it might be warm enough to shed the jacket.

If I wanted the cold, I would have stayed in Cleveland.
 
And how fast are you supposed to go on any given street? You know there was this invention, a Speed Limit Sign, invented quite a long time ago. Even backwards Ohio figured it might be a good idea to put one at every street as you turn into it or at the end of every onramp so you know how fast you are supposed to be going on that road as you enter it.

And why the fuck are lanes that wide? You can easily shrink them and fit another lane in each direction. But I must commend the speed limits that I do rarely see. Very appropriate for the type of road.