Hawt Tell Us About Your First F, First M, First K

F: 17. ex-gf. I was proud 'cause I was a nerd that got some.
M: I took the gf's hand in mortgage 10 years ago this August. We got the house 16 months after we met, suffice to say we kicked it off pretty well. No plans on ever getting married, we don't see the point of it.
K: 17. I smoked a rabbit in my mom's Mazda 323. It pretty much exploded on the lower radiator frame, and the bloody mess went underneath the car and burnt onto the exhaust and the car fucking stank. The aforementioned ex-gf flipped out at me for hitting the thing and we got into a big argument. Drove home in silence after that, and then the radiator let go and we got in yet another big argument. What a fucking waste of a relationship that was. But hey, I got some I guess.
 
one of my earliest memories was watching my dad cut the head off of a cat with a bull de-horner. the cat was not happy. after it was done, the head was packed in ice and some guy in fatigues picked it up to take it to a lab halfway across the state. i think they assumed the cat had rabies.

afterwards my dad took me to mcdonalds, back then they had this breakfast buffet and i'd always get the pancakes.
A story that ends with pancakes? Everyone loves pancakes. Excellent story!
 
Church camp (Methodist, very vanilla) 1994. Me 14, her 13. Blow job (no penetration).

Lots of make out sessions that week.

It might've gone farther (thank god it didn't cuz we didn't have protection available) if I it hadn't gotten back to her that I told my friends her snatch tasted like chicken.

The head counselor found out about some of it. Gave us all a big speech about accepting the lord and jesus into our hearts and no sex before marriage or some shit. The camp had been called off for 2 years before this because of coed shower sessions. Teenagers gonna teenager.

(The first time sex story is pretty standard - really good but really quick. I like the church camp story better).
 
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Church camp (Methodist, very vanilla) 1994. Me 14, her 13. Blow job (no penetration).

Lots of make out sessions that week.

It might've gone farther (thank god it didn't cuz we didn't have protection available) if I it hadn't gotten back to her that I told my friends her snatch tasted like chicken.

The head counselor found out about some of it. Gave us all a big speech about accepting the lord and jesus into our hearts and no sex before marriage or some shit. The camp had been called off for 2 years before this because of coed shower sessions. Teenagers gonna teenager.

(The first time sex story is pretty standard - really good but really quick. I like the church camp story better).

that was a great day for you, my friend! a blow job is great way to start a story. of two teenagers in heat. at camp? are you kidding me! a BLOW JOB at a bible camp,.. say wattt :eek:
 
that was a great day for you, my friend! a blow job is great way to start a story. of two teenagers in heat. at camp? are you kidding me! a BLOW JOB at a bible camp,.. say wattt :eek:
Haha

It all started during bible study/sing-a-long/whatever it's called. Campfire, log benches, counselors/pastors with guitars.

She was sitting next to me. We were both wearing shorts. She rubbed her leg up against mine. I had never said anything other than, "Hi" to her at this point. I don't know where I got the courage or what came over me but I reached over and grabbed the inside of her leg, then worked my hand up her short, short, shorts to pay dirt. Banged her while everybody sang Micheal Row the Boast Ashore or some such song.
 
Haha

It all started during bible study/sing-a-long/whatever it's called. Campfire, log benches, counselors/pastors with guitars.

She was sitting next to me. We were both wearing shorts. She rubbed her leg up against mine. I had never said anything other than, "Hi" to her at this point. I don't know where I got the courage or what came over me but I reached over and grabbed the inside of her leg, then worked my hand up her short, short, shorts to pay dirt. Banged her while everybody sang Micheal Row the Boast Ashore or some such song.

:fly46:
 
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I was really young, the dentists assistant, she started it ok, no fucking
Then I m'd who I f'd first, yes I give great advice
K, a pigeon once flew into the radiator of my car, my ex wife was with me, she was cool about it though, no fuss.
 
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I was really young, the dentists assistant, she started it ok, no fucking
Then I m'd who I f'd first, yes I give great advice
K, a pigeon once flew into the radiator of my car, my ex wife was with me, she was cool about it though, no fuss.

So you got married before, and you are a pigeon murderer.

I learned more about you in this post than entire 2016 adi.