Baby Teach them to tattle or teach them to fight back?

Petunia

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so last week some grade 5 kid started a fight with Kiko... he came home a lil roughed up (he's in 1st grade)
yesterday someone punched him in the stomach
and some other kid took his brand new hockey stick i bought him in montreal on saturday

so today i went to the playground with kiko and i was talking to him about defending himself... when all hell broke looooooooose

me: next time someone hits you, hit them back. twice as hard so they know not to mess with you again!
kiko: ok mama

judgy vag mom eavesdropping: teaching him violence won't resolve anything!!
kiko: none of the teachers helped me!!
me: and thats why you handle this yourself and stand up for yourself!

judgy vag mom #2 : we as parents shouldn't condone this type of retaliation, the teachers and staff are here for a reason.

me: sorry but the world isn't patrolled by teachers and staff and sooner or later my son has to learn to defend himself against bullies and assholes.

judgy vag mom #3 : my son is taught to tell an adult to diffuse the situation
me: so is mine, but when the beloved staff isn't resolving it, its time he resolves it on his own!

me: ok kiko what do you do the next time someone punches you in the stomach?
kiko: kick him in the balls mama!!
me: yay...

so now the judge moms hate me and started some drama as i walked away.... IDGAF
 

APRIL

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Going out of this way and doing something violent it's totally different than defending himself against violence
Well of course. It's like football, the person who last threw the punch is the one that is most likely going to be ejected out of the game. There is a reason why bullies don't get punished enough, they are good at hiding it.
 

Petunia

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Well of course. It's like football, the person who last threw the punch is the one that is most likely going to be ejected out of the game. There is a reason why bullies don't get punished enough, they are good at hiding it.

My son is so sweet and kind hearted. It's not in him to be violent or be mean or be a dick to someone .... But he has to learn to defend himself. It's a cruel cruel world out there ....

A few times I have seen him push a few kids down with gotten in his face and that makes me super proud and I praise him for standing up for himself
 

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My son is so sweet and kind hearted. It's not in him to be violent or be mean or be a dick to someone .... But he has to learn to defend himself. It's a cruel cruel world out there ....

A few times I have seen him push a few kids down with gotten in his face and that makes me super proud and I praise him for standing up for himself
I'm not saying to not let him stand up for himself... just learn to get away with it. :p
 

gee

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If a kid's beating up kiko and stealing his stuff, and the teachers aren't observing that and dealing with it, then someone seriously sucks at their job.

I'm in full agreement of teaching retaliation. Just make sure that kiko understands that it must only happen to someone who genuinely deserves it.
 

plot

Morning Boehner
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Ok Canadians, it's time to do it the American way.

Document everything, especially the teachers doing nothing, then when kiko gets hurt you can sue and move somewhere warmer with the massive profits.
 

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Feel Free to Pee on Me
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lol. there's a world of difference between being able to explain why you defended yourself and 'getting away with it.'
I'm talking in the instance where the bullied gets blamed and the bully gets away with it. Seems common. Meh...

/imnotaparent
 

Dharma1521

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I'm with Kiki on this. My grandmother taught me to fight back. So when I was being bullied in front of teachers who didn't give a shit, I fought back and they stopped bullying me.

It doesn't always have to be violent but Kiko should know how to stand up for himself, especially if the teachers aren't helping.
 

Mr. Argumentor

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If a kid's beating up kiko and stealing his stuff, and the teachers aren't observing that and dealing with it, then someone seriously sucks at their job.

I'm in full agreement of teaching retaliation. Just make sure that kiko understands that it must only happen to someone who genuinely deserves it.
I agree with this.

Make sure he knows that it's not a first resort, and there shouldn't be an issue.
 

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Morning Boehner
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I've changed my mind on this, teach him to fight back in completion. Revenge is a dish best served cold, read him the count of Monte Cristo.
 

Domon

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Teach your kid to defend themselves (this is different from attacking someone who attacks you)
Teach them that this may not be acceptable to teachers, and there may be consequences, but that defending themselves is never a bad thing

This is the difference between creating a kid who solves their problems with violence, and creating a kid who stands up for themselves when another kid starts shit with them.
 

Domon

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I agree with this.

Make sure he knows that it's not a first resort, and there shouldn't be an issue.

walking away from a confrontation, no matter your age, is always the first option. If you cant do that, then yeah.