Movie Star Wars 101


Nov 16, 2010
Currently Locked up: esposa
ok so since I'm an immigrant and was never exposed to these mainstream movies and also cuz I have a vagina and would rather play/watch My Little Pony, I'm reaching to your inner-nerd to please tell me shit about star wars.
i REFUSE to watch it and i did ask teh googlez but i got bored after the 1st line.
Also, in a beautiful and normal world , I would just consult my ex-husband with such a stupid question(s) but we only speak thru lawyers and its usually not a nice experience.

Some effin kid musta mentioned it to Kiko and now Kiko wants to watch it. he's 5.
i have noticed that there is guns and explosions and shit like that and he is not allowed to watch that shit so after some research i found this:


it was in the $5.00 Walmart bin (woohoo). it's rated PG

so my questions are:

-is my beloved kiko too young for this ish?
-wtf is this star wars shit about
-why are there sooooooooo many star wars movies?
-why does yoga, yoda, yoshi whatever the fuck his name is speak in riddles (i saw it on teh youtubes)

i dont wanna open up a can of worms with this type of film with kiko who is only 5.

thank you for your time.
it's about a cuban immigrant and his dim-witted cohort who transcend from street toughs to cocaine kingpins. it takes place in the year 2153. they have laser guns and spaceships and shit. kiko will dig it.
The clone wars was designed for kids. Stylized violence only. It's safe.

Actually, all of the movies are safe too. Very kid friendly. There is little gore or blood. Most things that die are robots. Many of the questionable concepts, which really aren't even, will go right over his head.

I cannot think of a single kid I know who hasn't seen star wars by e time they are 7.
I miss the days where an overprotective parent was one that actually made their kid wear a seat belt. :( Not being able to watch a kids movie cause it has guns in it is cray.
All I rem about seeing a Star Wars movie when I was a kid was when this creature guy was knocked out or something, and this slithery, crawly thing came crawling out of his ear. :barf::barf::barf:

And then I got bored, so I decided to hide my cousin's bitchy friend's shoes. Out in the cold. It was winter. Her name was Robin and my cousin brings it up to me like once a year. "REMEMBER WHEN YOU HID ROBIN'S SHOES IN THE SNOW BECAUSE YOU HATED STAR WARS AND BLAMED IT ON FRED?!"

So, there you have it. Crawly things will make your kid do really bad things to other people. :fly::fly::fly: