Social Etiquette

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b_sinning

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Nov 22, 2004
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Savannah, GA
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My wife commented earlier that very often whenever I visit her while she is cutting hair that after I leave the customers say your husband is very courteous. My first name is Curtis which is suppose to mean courteous but I always think that's an odd thing for them to say becuase I don't notice myself being more polite than I am typically. I guess it's just some of the stuff my parents drilled into me when i was a kid.


So let's discuss the basics as you see them. Add to the list or discuss a rule.
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Always answer a direct question from an elder with a Sir or Ma'am.

Ladies / kids always exit the elevator before guys. Rule varies for couples.

When entering a building, if a person is exiting at the same time, step back and allow them to exit before entering.

Always say Thank You.

Look into the persons eyes that you are addressing
.
Stand at least arms length away from someone when talking to them.

Always open the door for a lady.

Always use a firm grip when shaking hands but don't try to crush.


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My wife's doctor is a close talker and I think he screws with me becuase he can tell I hate that. Whenever we run into him he starts talking at the proper distance and slowly keeps moving closer. During which I slowly keep move back from him so I'm not looking up his nose. We've moved in whole circles during converstations. Drives me nuts.
 
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For dinners

I know to turn my fork over when I am done eating and place it at the top of my plate. I do it no matter where I am eating, I even do it with family even though most of them would never recognize it. It's a habit. I do the same with all the silverware, water glasses, bread plates and I don't really pay attention to it. My ghetto highschool actually sent me to a dinner to learn all of this.
 
b_sinning said:
Always answer a direct question from an elder with a Sir or Ma'am.
Sir and ma'am are reserved for addressing military personnelle and cops

Ladies / kids always exit the elevator before guys. Rule varies for couples.
Whomever gets to the elevator first wins!

When entering a building, if a person is exiting at the same time, step back and allow them to exit before entering.
Open door, look mean, and keep moving

Always say Thank You.
Depends... Some people get pissed off if you thank them

Look into the persons eyes that you are addressing
Yes, but it's not etiquette

Stand at least arms length away from someone when talking to them.
Dear lord yes. My personal space is all the space where I can punch you without moving

Always open the door for a lady.
Is she hot? Yes. Is she your g/f? Yes. Everyone else, no.

Always use a firm grip when shaking hands but don't try to crush.
Avoid shaking hands if at all possible. Not everyone washes. If offered a hand look at it, then look at the person like they are retarded.
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You'd die in NY. ~.^
 
Poor manners make even the smartest person seem dumb.

I'm not talking about the super strict Ms. Manners Etiquette but the basic social skills or rules that people should use. Are they really more in grained in the south?
 
I always get stuck at the fuckin mall holding the door for an hour. I'm a pretty good judge of distance except when people are approaching the door of a public place and I'm the doorstop. I heard someone say one time not to confuse politeness for weakness. That's my mantra, I think.

As far as your doctor goes, if you really think he's doing it to get your goat, I would move in closer every time he did. I'd bump noses just to prove a point.
 
b_sinning said:
Poor manners make even the smartest person seem dumb.

I'm not talking about the super strict Ms. Manners Etiquette but the basic social skills or rules that people should use. Are they really more in grained in the south?
Click to expand...
Public manners differ greatly. What I outlined is as I'd do walking around on a normal day or at work (shaking hands is more an intimidation technique on the job than a part of manners). I dont think I've ever looked straight at someone unless I was berating them, and giving up your seat on public transit or letting kids onto an elevator is like shouting ROB ME.

Doors are tricky. Old people are mean, cripples are mean, and the rest of the general population is so retarded I'm surprised they dont walk into walls. Cute or Hot girls are always shocked if you get the door for them and will normally be chatty because it simply isnt expected. If you dont get the door for a g/f or a friend who is a girl she will likely beat you. There are also hundreds of other little rules.

Private etiquette was beaten into me though. Once someone classes as a friend/acquaintence/fuck buddy there is a whole new set of expected behaviour.
 
shawndavid said:
I always get stuck at the fuckin mall holding the door for an hour. I'm a pretty good judge of distance except when people are approaching the door of a public place and I'm the doorstop. I heard someone say one time not to confuse politeness for weakness. That's my mantra, I think.

As far as your doctor goes, if you really think he's doing it to get your goat, I would move in closer every time he did. I'd bump noses just to prove a point.
Click to expand...

The doc is an odd guy.

My son loves a tv show called Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends. On one of the shows a friend named Wilt gets stuck at a mall for hours holding a door open becuase he's too courteous and people won't stop exiting. It was pretty funny. Actually it's a great show.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Foster's_Home_for_Imaginary_Friends_characters
 
Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends rocks, but it certainly isn't the best show to watch if you want to learn about manners.

I think I'm polite, or at least I try to be. I say please and thank you and I hold doors open for people.

The close talking thing might be cultural. Is the doctor from somewhere else. Keeping your distance while talking is considered rude in some other places in the world. I hate it though. I like my personal space.
 
eileenbunny said:
Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends rocks, but it certainly isn't the best show to watch if you want to learn about manners.

I think I'm polite, or at least I try to be. I say please and thank you and I hold doors open for people.

The close talking thing might be cultural. Is the doctor from somewhere else. Keeping your distance while talking is considered rude in some other places in the world. I hate it though. I like my personal space.
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Working with foreigners has taught me that the idea of 'personal space' is almost exclusively an American/British thing. It's a tough reflex to suppress, but luckily I haven't choked a motherfarker for being all up in my sh*t yet.

Other than that, yes, I'm a reasonably courteous guy. Unless I'm driving. Or you're an idiot. :D
 
eileenbunny said:
The close talking thing might be cultural. Is the doctor from somewhere else. Keeping your distance while talking is considered rude in some other places in the world. I hate it though. I like my personal space.
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Nope the doctor is from here. He's eccentric. An absent minded professor type. He has ADD so you have to make sure to keep him focused or he'll just ramble off into conversation wasteland. That's why I prefer not to use him as a doctor. He's a friend of my wife's family too.


I definitely don't think manners is a sign of weakness. The alpha dog doesn't always have to prove it's the alpha dog. It has a confidence to it that lets everyone know without a doubt that it's dominate and can act as it chooses.

I don't do private and public manners. A little common courteous typically makes everyone act nicer to me in general.
 
FlamingGlory said:
You'd die in NY. ~.^
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every time I've been on a NYC subway I've given my seat up for either a lady, child, or senior. they're always very appreciative

Southern hospitality++

edit: I wasn't robbed either. Been to that city three times in the past two years and not once have I worried about being hoodwinked, pickpocketed or mugged. Though I must admit I would have felt a hell of a lot better walking through the park at dusk with a .40 on my hip.
 
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FlyNavy said:
every time I've been on a NYC subway I've given my seat up for either a lady, child, or senior. they're always very appreciative

Southern hospitality++

edit: I wasn't robbed either. Been to that city three times in the past two years and not once have I worried about being hoodwinked, pickpocketed or mugged. Though I must admit I would have felt a hell of a lot better walking through the park at dusk with a .40 on my hip.
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Same here, though I rarely if ever sit on subways at all to begin with.

I've been in NYC countless times at night without any worry at all. Brooklyn on the other hand......drove through Cypress Hill at 2AM thanks to a wrong turn from Yahoo maps (6-7 years ago) and THAT was freaky :omy:
 
b_sinning said:
My wife commented earlier that very often whenever I visit her while she is cutting hair that after I leave the customers say your husband is very courteous. My first name is Curtis which is suppose to mean courteous but I always think that's an odd thing for them to say becuase I don't notice myself being more polite than I am typically. I guess it's just some of the stuff my parents drilled into me when i was a kid.


So let's discuss the basics as you see them. Add to the list or discuss a rule.
_________________________________________________________________

Always answer a direct question from an elder with a Sir or Ma'am.

Ladies / kids always exit the elevator before guys. Rule varies for couples.

When entering a building, if a person is exiting at the same time, step back and allow them to exit before entering.

Always say Thank You.

Look into the persons eyes that you are addressing
.
Stand at least arms length away from someone when talking to them.

Always open the door for a lady.

Always use a firm grip when shaking hands but don't try to crush.


_________________________________________________________________

My wife's doctor is a close talker and I think he screws with me becuase he can tell I hate that. Whenever we run into him he starts talking at the proper distance and slowly keeps moving closer. During which I slowly keep move back from him so I'm not looking up his nose. We've moved in whole circles during converstations. Drives me nuts.
Click to expand...


I do all of those regularly but number 1. Number 1 I only do sometimes.
 
FlamingGlory said:
Public manners differ greatly. What I outlined is as I'd do walking around on a normal day or at work (shaking hands is more an intimidation technique on the job than a part of manners). I dont think I've ever looked straight at someone unless I was berating them, and giving up your seat on public transit or letting kids onto an elevator is like shouting ROB ME.

Doors are tricky. Old people are mean, cripples are mean, and the rest of the general population is so retarded I'm surprised they dont walk into walls. Cute or Hot girls are always shocked if you get the door for them and will normally be chatty because it simply isnt expected. If you dont get the door for a g/f or a friend who is a girl she will likely beat you. There are also hundreds of other little rules.

Private etiquette was beaten into me though. Once someone classes as a friend/acquaintence/fuck buddy there is a whole new set of expected behaviour.
Click to expand...

rob me? I grew up in NY and was never robbed once. Been to NYC a zillion times and was never robbed once. Never been robbed anywhere period.
 
ChikkenNoodul said:
Same here, though I rarely if ever sit on subways at all to begin with.

I've been in NYC countless times at night without any worry at all. Brooklyn on the other hand......drove through Cypress Hill at 2AM thanks to a wrong turn from Yahoo maps (6-7 years ago) and THAT was freaky :omy:
Click to expand...
why_ask_why said:
rob me? I grew up in NY and was never robbed once. Been to NYC a zillion times and was never robbed once. Never been robbed anywhere period.
Click to expand...
Heh. NYC isn't half a tough as its' residents would like the rest of the country to believe. Walk around like you own the fucking place and it's like any other city in the world.
 
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