Thread So now that I'm a certified mechanic (I can drive)....

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Clam whisperer
Oct 15, 2004
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I have been attempting to fix my car in a most female fashion.

The trouble all started on Friday morning after my kitchen flooded. I cleaned up that mess and set forth to drive myself to work. My car wouldn't start. I was informed by males that my battery was dead (something I totally suspected to be the case). I had a tantrum and went back to bed deciding to return to the engine room on Sunday.

Roll on Sunday and I open up my bonnet (hood) to inspect 'the battery'. I spent 10 minutes musing over how to take it out of the engine to charge it and a further 5 looking at my very posh swiss army multi-tool puzzling over which of the 50 or so tools would unbolt a bolt (unscrew?). Thankfully I had a brainwave - my next door neighbour is male and has a car. As luck would have it he had a spanner in his car and managed to get 'the battery' off in record time.

After finding 'the battery charger' I checked with the nearest male which colour was positive and which was negative and I was away. There were a few minor hick-ups along the way involving questions directed at me by males such as 'why haven't you put the battery on some newspaper?' and 'have you undone the things on top of the water bit of the battery?'. Very pertinent questions indeed. After charging it for 2 hours (I mean how long does it take?) I put the whole thing back in the engine all by myself, only to find 2 hours was not enough. Being a tireless problem solver I came up with another solution to my problem - call my father. Within 10 minutes of my call for help the battery was once again out of the engine room and on my living room floor, this time with the bolty things over the water taken off (apparently my battery could have exploded before - what a lucky escape I had!).

I have since left it charging overnight and put it back in. I've now put 3 litres of oil into the engine, topped up my screenwash (maybe this is the problem?) and brought myself some brake fluid (if my Betsy knows I'm buying her gifts she will respond in the typical female way and work well, right?).

I have yet to turn the key and try turning it on again because if my 4 day mission to charge my battery up has failed I will cry.

That is all. If you have any mechanical issues in the future please let me know and I will advise.
 

Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski

Clam whisperer
Oct 15, 2004
42,096
6,852
723
Robin Hood Country
Marklar
₥8,762
I've also have some great tips for any women out there having problems taking their petrol cap off - spend 10 minutes at the petrol station turning it the wrong way and when a man pulls up next to you ask him to help. Problem solved!