WTF So I just dick'd my butt

i don’t fly on commercial airlines. you can’t be employed by two different commercial airlines

i only work for private airlines, and because i’m a contract FA, I can fly with a few private airlines.

also lol @ Flair
they had two airplanes repossessed. they are parked next to one of our hangars
You ever get any actually important people, like Bruce Campbell?

Or is it mostly jetshare dipshits trying to impress their mistresses’ friends?
 
im going to another airline.
well not really “going” i’m adding myself to another airline. which means I HAVE TO DO MY GROUNDSCHOOL AND DRILLS ALL OVER AGAAAAIN.

every airline i sign up with, i have to get certified so here we go again. next week another stupid day of “BRACE BRACE BRACE”
“EVACUATE EVACUATE EVACUATE”
The certification doesn't come from the government? What in the fuck.
 
Showing a Disney movie can get a teacher investigated, but hey the bars are still open so nbd.

Why is it important it is a Disney movie? Con Air is a Disney movie. My question would be is watching bleeding cartoons really the most effective form of instruction for 5th graders? Sounds more like the teacher wanted a nap.

We rarely got to see movies in school. Especially after 3ed grade
 
The big question is, what's the better office chair?

A fabric chair that muffles your farts, but also absorbs them so every time you sit in the chair a little bit of fart squeezes out... or leather chair that doesn't absorb farts, but instead makes for a loud brap that's both satisfying and lets you assert dominance over your co-workers?
 
The big question is, what's the better office chair?

A fabric chair that muffles your farts, but also absorbs them so every time you sit in the chair a little bit of fart squeezes out... or leather chair that doesn't absorb farts, but instead makes for a loud brap that's both satisfying and lets you assert dominance over your co-workers?
If you're in a cube farm, you want to establish dominance with the sound. If you're in your own office, you establish dominance with the leftovers.
 
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im going to another airline.
well not really “going” i’m adding myself to another airline. which means I HAVE TO DO MY GROUNDSCHOOL AND DRILLS ALL OVER AGAAAAIN.

every airline i sign up with, i have to get certified so here we go again. next week another stupid day of “BRACE BRACE BRACE”
“EVACUATE EVACUATE EVACUATE”
when I flew southwest in feb the crew did all the announcements tommy boy style. it was fantastic.
also southwest never seems to ever charge me for the little bottles of wild turkey I consume.
 
The big question is, what's the better office chair?

A fabric chair that muffles your farts, but also absorbs them so every time you sit in the chair a little bit of fart squeezes out... or leather chair that doesn't absorb farts, but instead makes for a loud brap that's both satisfying and lets you assert dominance over your co-workers?
fabric, no swass.

I spent like 2 weeks researching office chairs back around christmas. Work OK'd me to spend $600ish on a chair so I picked up a haworth soji on sale and love it. I can sit in it for hours comfortably and my ass never sweats. adequate fart sounds are possible.
 
Oh, and I forgot to include an Aeron chair in the list.

No leftovers like the fabric chair, no sound like the fabric chair, but instead you get the raw unfiltered maximized straight-from-the-ass-into-the-air stank.