WTF So I just dick'd my butt

[fly]

I just got randomly selected for the second week in a row to get drug tested.

"With as much as this guy injures himself, no way he's sober."

 

[tre]

I gotta say, if I were to stereotypically pick out drug users from a lineup...

I'd probably pick you and I eleven times out of ten.

They probably didn’t buy your “I dropped an exhaust one my nose” story, instead of just copious amounts of cocaine

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

They probably didn’t buy your “I dropped an exhaust one my nose” story, instead of just copious amounts of cocaine

"Nah man, I don't believe you accidentally hacked out your septum on an old Datsun, you need some drug testing and then counseling."

 

[Jehannum]

"Nah man, I don't believe you accidentally hacked out your septum on an old Datsun, you need some drug testing and then counseling."

This is America, they'd make me pay for the counseling.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

This is America, they'd make me pay for the counseling.

Of course, but rhey would mandate it first so you then had to get it.

 

[Jehannum]

Of course, but rhey would mandate it first so you then had to get it.

And then take away my clearance and any ability I have to afford it.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

And then take away my clearance and any ability I have to afford it.

For your own health and safety

 

[eileenbunny]

R I G H T??? like wtf i hate these hauls!
From what I understand I think you’re going to the grand opening of some famous restaurant or some shit like that

Ooo, was it Bagheera?

 

[Jehannum]

For your own health and safety

Man, it was a total farce. I peed in the cup, came out, and they had the specimen tubes sitting open on the counter. I was like, "nuh uh, I don't know what you stuck in there", and they were both like "we opened them in front of you".

So I ended up having to give another sample, this time making absolutely sure they hadn't opened the tubes before I saw them do it.

 

[fly]

Man, it was a total farce. I peed in the cup, came out, and they had the specimen tubes sitting open on the counter. I was like, "nuh uh, I don't know what you stuck in there", and they were both like "we opened them in front of you".

So I ended up having to give another sample, this time making absolutely sure they hadn't opened the tubes before I saw them do it.

So when I started at my last corporate job, I had to do a drug test. We'd had a friend's wedding that weekend right before and I hadn't really thought about the fact that I'd have to be tested. So we were all doing heroic amounts of cocaine. Genius.

They called me on Monday to say that I needed to show up on Tuesday for the test. I managed to push it off till Wednesday. Theoretically, I should have been fine, but I was still pissing hot from the test I got from a head shop. So anyway, I go to take the test. I hand the chick the cup and she dumps it all over the counter. Fuck. Gross. But then, she grabs a new specimen cup from the cabinet. It was not sanitized, it was just an extra cup sitting there. Ah ha, this could be my out! I pissed in it with the thought that if I failed I woudl tell them the story and they'd let me retake it.

Didn't matter, I passed. WHEW

 

[Jehannum]

So when I started at my last corporate job, I had to do a drug test. We'd had a friend's wedding that weekend right before and I hadn't really thought about the fact that I'd have to be tested. So we were all doing heroic amounts of cocaine. Genius.

They called me on Monday to say that I needed to show up on Tuesday for the test. I managed to push it off till Wednesday. Theoretically, I should have been fine, but I was still pissing hot from the test I got from a head shop. So anyway, I go to take the test. I hand the chick the cup and she dumps it all over the counter. Fuck. Gross. But then, she grabs a new specimen cup from the cabinet. It was not sanitized, it was just an extra cup sitting there. Ah ha, this could be my out! I pissed in it with the thought that if I failed I woudl tell them the story and they'd let me retake it.

Didn't matter, I passed. WHEW

I have zero doubt that I'll pass, if my samples are unadulterated.

I take occasional viagra and naproxen, so no fucking way I'm pissing hot anything.

 

[Petunia]

Ooo, was it Bagheera?

No clue, but I’ll get more info when I am done the flight. I also just organized all the catering for this ridiculous trip and it’s like $3000.

 

[Petunia]

So when I started at my last corporate job, I had to do a drug test. We'd had a friend's wedding that weekend right before and I hadn't really thought about the fact that I'd have to be tested. So we were all doing heroic amounts of cocaine. Genius.

They called me on Monday to say that I needed to show up on Tuesday for the test. I managed to push it off till Wednesday. Theoretically, I should have been fine, but I was still pissing hot from the test I got from a head shop. So anyway, I go to take the test. I hand the chick the cup and she dumps it all over the counter. Fuck. Gross. But then, she grabs a new specimen cup from the cabinet. It was not sanitized, it was just an extra cup sitting there. Ah ha, this could be my out! I pissed in it with the thought that if I failed I woudl tell them the story and they'd let me retake it.

Didn't matter, I passed. WHEW

OMGGGG

 

[Petunia]

im on my way to vancouver with this group.
i swear i feel like i’m in a rap video.
the music is so loud
2 girls twerking
so much booze
dominos
betting
arguing cuz they wanna smoke weed on flight
and 1 rap star (not drake)

ugh

 

[fly]

OMGGGG

Super stressful. I had turned in my 2 weeks, so my current company had immediately let me go, and we were a week away from closing on our first house. All of my own stupidity, but still not very fun.

 

[fly]

im on my way to vancouver with this group.
i swear i feel like i’m in a rap video.
the music is so loud
2 girls twerking
so much booze
dominos
betting
arguing cuz they wanna smoke weed on flight
and 1 rap star (not drake)

ugh

Dominos is the best in that list ++++++++++++++

 

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

im on my way to vancouver with this group.
i swear i feel like i’m in a rap video.
the music is so loud
2 girls twerking
so much booze
dominos
betting
arguing cuz they wanna smoke weed on flight
and 1 rap star (not drake)

ugh

tell em they can smoke but they have to go outside

 

[ZRH]

im on my way to vancouver with this group.
i swear i feel like i’m in a rap video.
the music is so loud
2 girls twerking
so much booze
dominos
betting
arguing cuz they wanna smoke weed on flight
and 1 rap star (not drake)

ugh

The pizza or the game the rest sounds like Friday night

 

[Petunia]

tell em they can smoke but they have to go outside

lmaoooooooooooooo

 

[Peppers]

im on my way to vancouver with this group.
i swear i feel like i’m in a rap video.
the music is so loud
2 girls twerking
so much booze
dominos
betting
arguing cuz they wanna smoke weed on flight
and 1 rap star (not drake)

ugh

Is it J Staxx? Canada's greatest rapper?