Halp So as anyone heard the real reason the Pope is retiring?

[fly]

There have got to be some good conspiracy theories out there. What are they?

For those that don't know, the Pope is retiring. This is something that hasn't happened in like 500 years. Yes, 500 years. It's pretty fucking crazy. There is no way he's just retiring because he's old. At the minimum, he's being forced out because he's a shitty Pope. What do you guys think?

 

[JAXvillain]

Nearly 600 years. Last time a pope stepped down was 1415 . Haven't heard shit about it here at work as far as conspiracy theories goes which is kind of surprising.

 

[Mikeawesome]

russians are planning to kill the pope so they will elect a black pope to take the hit

 

[fly]

@b_sinning ?

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

I saw somewhere that he was giving up Catholics for Lent. Not sure if it was here or FB

 

[august]

It's possible it really IS age. The last guy was practically and functionally dead for a few years before he actually died, maybe this guy didn't want to be like that, wanted somebody more able to perform the essential functions of the job.

I've read that Cardinal Turkson is favored to replace him, who's made comments about how condoms are not the answer to ending the AIDS epidemic, furthermore I doubt the church would suddenly change their policy on hiding/harboring pedophile priests, so I don't have high hopes that any positive change would come from a new pope. Douche v. Turd Sandwich and all.

 

[Duke]

I have heard rumors that all of this is related to something that recently happened at CERN.

 

[Petunia]

@b_sinning ?

Ommg do u know what you have created here????

 

[plot]

He's doing it in protest of the Olympics getting rid of wrestling.

Turns out he's a huge fan of little boys groping each other in unitards.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

If you think the benefits package for a retired US Senator is good, you should see the package for a retired Pope.

Whoooeeeee.

Movin' on up, movin' on up....

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

 

[JAXvillain]

He's doing it in protest of the Olympics getting rid of wrestling.

Turns out he's a huge fan of little boys groping each other in unitards.

Wrestling in the original Greek Olympics was done naked.

 

[Syrup Beaver]

Wrestling in the original Greek Olympics was done naked.

Which is slightly less homo-erotic than a singlet.

 

[JAXvillain]

Which is slightly less homo-erotic than a singlet.

By a hair at most.

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

By a hair at most.

Depends on how old the boys are, really

 

[DJBrenton]

It's not really a conspiracy theory but a few weeks ago a court ordered thousands of documents released by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles that prove him squarely in the middle of covering up lots of child abusing priests there.

http://www.alternet.org/news-amp-politics/pope-benedict-stepping-down-shocking-abdication?paging=off

 

[Dory Berkowitz-Bukowski]

Kinda obvious it has something to do with paedophilia.

 

[Petunia]

if he dont wanna be a fucking pope, then he dont wanna be a fucking pope. who cares. why does it have to be so complicated. let him quit.
deuces pope!

 

[Mr. Argumentor]

if he dont wanna be a fucking pope, then he dont wanna be a fucking pope. who cares. why does it have to be so complicated. let him quit.
deuces pope!

Everyone cares because it is such a singular event. No pope has stepped down since 1545, now in 2013 one is, that is 468 years of only selecting a pope after the previous one died.

It is an abnormality, people don't like abnormalities.

 

[JAXvillain]

Everyone cares because it is such a singular event. No pope has stepped down since 1545, now in 2013 one is, that is 468 years of only selecting a pope after the previous one died.

It is an abnormality, people don't like abnormalities.

1415. Almost 600 years.