Skinning a Hooker 101

fly

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Oct 1, 2004
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1. Find your perfect kerb krawler. Preferrably one that appears gaunt. If you are unable to find one in this state, abduct a hooker and put her in an abandon well or something. Do NOT tie her up as the rope/cuffs will marr the skin around the arms and legs.

2. Once the skin appears slightly loose, kill her. I prefer carbon monoxide, which can be purchased from any welders shop, as it leaves a nice pink hue on the skin. Note: After she is dead, ventilate the area as carbon monoxide is odorless and deadly.

3. Within minutes of death, rub cornmeal on the skin to dry it out. The cornmeal will also help prevent bacterial growth. Now, get some of the large lawn trashbags, and put one over the head and feet, making sure the bags overlap. Duct tape them in the middle, and put the body in the fridge for one to three days (DO NOT FREEZE).

4. Decide how you will want to wear the skin. I prefer to step into it, and therefore prefer a cut along the back. Starting mid-skull, make a line down the back tracing the spine, splitting off down each arm. I like to then follow the spine into the crack of the ass, then down the inside of each leg.

5. Gently begin to pull the skin away from the body. I've found a constant pull to be better than tugging on the skin. Use a dull knife to scrape away any leftover meat or tissue, then dunk the skin in a bathtub full of warm water and dishsoap to remove any blood.

6. Rinse the hooker with cool water and squeeze dry. DONT TWIST! Now rub the inside of the skin with Borax to remove any residual moisture.
 
It took me forever to figure out what a kerb crawler was. I thought it was an illegally parked vehicle at first.
 
fly said:
so are you gonna reseal my driveway or not?


you know it buttercup
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