"She squeezed the cheese on his trick"

itburnswhenipee

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May 25, 2005
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From: http://www.thestate.com/mld/thestate/news/local/13161601.htm

Midlands Most Wanted

Each Monday, The State will run information on a suspect wanted by authorities. Since the feature began in February 2004, 29 suspects have been taken into police custody.

RODNEY DANE HIGGINBOTHAM

• DATE OF BIRTH: July 29, 1965

• DESCRIPTION: 6 feet 1 inch, 165 pounds, brown hair and hazel eyes

• WANTED BY: Lexington County Sheriff’s Department

• CHARGES: Third-offense criminal domestic violence

• LAST KNOWN ADDRESS: 232 Stagecoach Road, Gaston

• ALLEGED CRIME: Police said Higginbotham argued with his wife because she had not cooked anything. When she began cooking, he started making spaghetti while eating crackers and squeeze cheese. They argued, and he squeezed cheese on the kitchen floor. She squeezed the cheese on his truck, and he squeezed the cheese in her hair before fleeing in his truck. His wife said she washed her hair before the officer arrived to take her complaint.

• IF YOU SEE HIM: Call the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department at (803) 785-8230 or Crime Stoppers at (888) 559-TIPS.

This is hilarious for a number of reasons. I can't imagine being a cop and having to take shit like this seriously.

/When cheese squeezing is outlawed only outlaws will squeeze the cheese.
 
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OMG - I think I just saw him in the cafe at work spraying that same cheese on crackers. Yikes! I better call ...


IF YOU SEE HIM: Call the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department at (803) 785-8230 or Crime Stoppers at (888) 559-TIPS.
 
Once, my dad got pissed off over some honey-do project he was working on around the house. He started beating on the hardwood floors with a hammer. So my mom took the hammer from him and went outside and started hitting his '69 Mustang with the hammer. He got really mad, but I'm glad he didn't start hitting her with the hammer. I think this is way more serious than squeeze cheese anyway. I hope I have a squeeze cheese battle with someone in the near future.