GAY Selling my virginity on craigslist

thintoast

Mayosapien
Dec 4, 2012
17,191
7,938
273
up your butt and around the corner
Marklar
₥10,725
Left handed electric guitar & amp

I have for sale a dusty kickass Ibanez Gio left handed guitar with very little personal character added, leaving a nearly blank canvas ready for your own personal character to be added to it. It dons a three tone selector switch (which produces static during the act of switching to add to the grunge metal sound we all look for, but once selected produces no static at all outside of your own intended static), a tone control knob and a volume control knob to dial up the awesome to 9000. It comes with a soft carry case to keep all of your new girlfriends in, a whammy bar to make their panties melt, an amp to help you share your awesome with the world, a digital tuner/metronome, a 5 ft guitar cord to connect your battle axe to the amp and keep you close to the action! The battery operated digital tuner allows the user to tune the guitar via audible sound, or you can plug the guitar cord directly into it. Either way, with this tuner, you'll be sure to get the crisp clean sound of a bird chirping on a cool winters morning, or the pitch perfect sound of Satan himself throwing up the horns and rocking out to Black Sabbath. Or One Direction. Whichever you're into.

The amp is a Line 6 Spider IV producing 15 watts. With its limited size, this Hell's Megaphone is perfect for practicing in the garage and annoying your neighbors, but not your neighbors neighbors... or serenading your loved one with the sound of an axe wielding Kenny G. This amp is a rock show inside of the smallest Russian Matryoshka doll. It produces 4 distinct tones, "Clean" to show off your gentle skills, "Crunch" to add a bit more kickass, "Metal" to throw some distortion in the mix, or "Insane" to give your neighbors a migraine. Each of these can be altered slightly using the tone control switch and knob on your battle axe as well as the "Drive", "Bass", "Mid" and "Treble" knobs on the amp. There's also a few distortion and alternate sounds available and a total of three different volume controls between the amp and the guitar.
 
If I had one, I'd walk into the dealership and ask them for a list of their escort services.
Fact: Every ford vehicle name works great with "anal" in front if it.

Anal escort
Anal explorer
Anal expedition
Anal five hundred
Anal fiesta

etc.