WTF Random jokes thread......

Two women at lunch are arguing over who is the biggest slut. To prove her point, the first woman calls the waiter over, and starts kissing him, groping him, and putting his hands on her.
The second woman is unimpressed. She gets on her knees, unzips his pants, and starts sucking his cock. She keeps going until he blows a huge load in her mouth, after which she gets up, wipes her mouth, and sits back down.
The first woman is shocked. "How did you know he didn't have a girlfriend?" she asked.
The second woman smiled. "Don't worry, my brother hasn't had a girlfriend in years!"



ib incest jokes
 
Three midgets were standing in front of the Guinness Book of World Records Building one day watching people go in and exit minutes later with a certificate stating they were in the book of records. The midgets really wanted to be in the book too.

One midget turned to the other two and said, "Hey, I think I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records! I'm pretty sure I have the world’s smallest feet! I'm gonna go in there right now and find out!"

And in he went. Minutes later he exited wearing a big smile and carrying a certificate that announced he had the world's smallest feet.

One of the others said, "Look at that! He's going to be in the book! I think I should be in the book too, because I'm pretty sure I've got the world's smallest hands!"

And in he went, dashing out minutes later with a big smile and a certificate announcing he had the world's smallest hands.

The third midget, not to be outdone, declared, "Well, this might be kind of embarrassing but I believe I might have the world's smallest penis!" And he dashed into the building to be measured and to find out if he could be in the book too.

A few minutes later he exited the building without a certificate and had a look of disappointment on his face.

"What happened? Do you have the world’s smallest penis?" asked one of the other two midgets.

In a very upset tone, the third midget said, "No, I don’t have the world’s smallest penis! And who the hell is this @123 guy anyway?"
 
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Jimmycrackcorn said:
Three midgets were standing in front of the Guinness Book of World Records Building one day watching people go in and exit minutes later with a certificate stating they were in the book of records. The midgets really wanted to be in the book too.

One midget turned to the other two and said, "Hey, I think I should be in the Guinness Book of World Records! I'm pretty sure I have the world’s smallest feet! I'm gonna go in there right now and find out!"

And in he went. Minutes later he exited wearing a big smile and carrying a certificate that announced he had the world's smallest feet.

One of the others said, "Look at that! He's going to be in the book! I think I should be in the book too, because I'm pretty sure I've got the world's smallest hands!"

And in he went, dashing out minutes later with a big smile and a certificate announcing he had the world's smallest hands.

The third midget, not to be outdone, declared, "Well, this might be kind of embarrassing but I believe I might have the world's smallest penis!" And he dashed into the building to be measured and to find out if he could be in the book too.

A few minutes later he exited the building without a certificate and had a look of disappointment on his face.

"What happened? Do you have the world’s smallest penis?" asked one of the other two midgets.

In a very upset tone, the third midget said, "No, I don’t have the world’s smallest penis! And who the hell is this @123 guy anyway?"
Click to expand...
:lol: too funny, I told this one last weekish and used @shamwow instead. :p
 
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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs;

In a pile of leaves? - Russell
On a wall? - Art
On a wall with a twin? - Kurt and Rod
In a mailbox? - Bill
Under a car? - Axel
On a porch? - Matt
In a bathroom - John
In a hole? - Phil
In a bath tub? - Bob
In a hot tub? - Stew

annnnnd......

What do you call the guy who swam the English Channel with no arms and no legs?

*drum roll please*

Clever Dick!




What do you call a woman with one leg? - Eileen
What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? - Irene.
 
123 said:
What do you call a guy with no arms and legs;

In a pile of leaves? - Russell
On a wall? - Art
On a wall with a twin? - Kurt and Rod
In a mailbox? - Bill
Under a car? - Axel
On a porch? - Matt
In a bathroom - John
In a hole? - Phil
In a bath tub? - Bob
In a hot tub? - Stew

annnnnd......

What do you call the guy who swam the English Channel with no arms and no legs?

*drum roll please*

Clever Dick!




What do you call a woman with one leg? - Eileen
What do you call an Asian woman with one leg? - Irene.
Click to expand...


a cow with no legs? - ground beef
 
What do you call a deer with no eyes? - No idea.

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? - Still no idea.
 
What do you call a man with bacon on his head? - Hamed
What do you call a man with 2 pieces of bacon on his head? - Mohamed.
 
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